TOPIC: Excuses for New Size Lets Hear Em

Did you see when Ron Jeremy guest starred on \"The Weakest Link\"? It was hilarious the host was poking fun of him for his height. His response was awesome!

Anne: \"You\'re not all that tall.\"Ron: \"I am when I\'m lying down...\"

Gotta love that hedgehog!

Funny story and 100% true. I was stung in the stomach by a hornet at age 18. My Dick swelled to an enormous Girth, at least twice what it normally was for about 4 days. Now if there were only a way that we could market that? hmmmmm! Hornets would be selling on the internet like .223 ammo is right now.

So, now that I have scheduled my date with Dr. C, I have really been thinking about what a good excuse would be.
Anybody used or come up with any good ones?

Ok, here\'s a true story.

I was swimming in the mediterranean sea, naked. In fact, I was snorkeling, amazed at the beauty of all these colorful small fishes, algaes, shrimps. I was swimming above a sort of reef, there was like 10 inches of water or less. I could feel my penis touching the algae-covered rock, and it was soft and wet. Guess what, it gave me a hard-on. I was a bit ashamed to go back to the boat like this so I stayed a bit longer, hoping I would get back to normal. While I was waiting, still swimming, my glans touched a sea anemone. Those of you who have seen this lovely thing, know that they have tentacles that contain nematocysts, used to paralyze and their prey. Let me quote Wikipedia : Each nematocyst contains a small vesicle filled with toxins (actinoporins), an inner filament, and an external sensory hair. A touch to the hair mechanically triggers a cell explosion'which launches a harpoon-like structure that attaches to organisms that trigger it, and injects a dose of venom in the flesh of the aggressor or prey. This gives the anemone its characteristic sticky feeling.

So, my penis was the organism that triggered those harpoons. You can imagine how it feels to be stung that way. Well, in fact, no, you can\'t, but let me tell you that after I managed to wipe those tentacles away, tearing the skin away during that process, my penis looked like totally different. For weeks, it was huge, extremely swollen and very very very painful (I could not even put water on it) and displaying the print left by the anemone\'s tentacles, almost like a tribal tattoo. I was 20 or so, and too ashamed to see a uro.

It turns out the neurotoxin contained in the venom actually made my penis grow. Or maybe it was the swelling. Anyway, I gained an Inch in one month, and Girth as well. I don\'t recall how much, but my GF at the time asked me afterwards if I would give it a second try. She was joking, but she was pleased with the results. Natural PE, but don\'t try this at home, I swear, it hurts like hell.

@obsessed
Wow. I don\'t think I want anything that has tentacles anywhere near mine!

Obsessed, \"you\'re the only guy I know who\'s Dick needs an instruction manual\" ... lol, killer story bro

I use the parachute injury story. I was a hung jumper, meaning I was being towed by the airplane I jumped out of when some of my equipment got hung up. The jumpmaster was about to cut me loose when my equipment gave and I fell free. I went through another jumpers chute at about 120 mph. The harness that attaches the parachute to your body has two leg straps that run between your legs. I almost lost my junk. Three surgeries later they managed to save it but the scars and scar tissue remain. Not one woman has questioned it yet. Deception has to be believable.

Sometimes the truth is unbelievable! So tell them \" I went to Mexico and had a slurry of plastic injected into my penis! Then skipped back over the boarder!! \" lol most people go yah now tell what really happened!!

@ briceb
Octopusses are nasty, I\'ve heard

@el6eg4
Aha, good one.
I can still feel it sometimes on the glans, a small itching where the tentacles harpooned. Like those folks who can predict weather with the pain in their knee, except that my Dick does not predict anything.

But I have in fact never told that story to any girl, It was buried in my memory somehow. Wonder how they would react.

When I was reading wikipedia about sea anemones, I was ROTFL : \"The mouth, also the anus of the sea anemone, is in the middle of the oral disc surrounded by tentacles armed with many cnidocytes\".

How many of you have fucked a mouth and an anus at the same time?

I realize I am a hero

\"How many of you have fucked a mouth and an anus at the same time?\"
[/QUOTE]

Now ya got my wheels churning....

\"I\'ve been eating a lot of \"Goats milk\" lately, I\'m not sure exactly why it is bigger.\"

The benefit of this is that it has plausible deniability.

\"growth spurt\" lol thats all theyll need to hear

A wasp stung my Cock. Once on each side. I\'m allergic. I almost died. \"Unfortunately\", the swelling in my Cock left my corpora cavernosa permanently enlarged. \"True\" story. Say it without the quotes... but let them exist in your mind.

lol so many questions arise after that explanation, \"why did a wasp sting both sides of your Dick\" you sticking your business in a hive? HA