Still in the new relationship, still haven\'t told her about the
PMMA, still don\'t know how to trust a woman. I have come to the conclusion that I have such deep rooted insecurity issues that no amount of PEing will ever be enough. I am flat out obsessed with the size of my
Cock and the shit is driving me out of my skull. The biggest
Dick war is like nuclear war, everyone who plays loses. There can be only one, as highlander says. And I\'ll tell you what, that war rages in my head everyday and every single day I lose. I am tired of insecurity, I\'m tired of jealousy, and I just don\'t believe my mind is capable of accepting that my
Dick is not the same as it used to be.
I also can\'t accept that I\'m not hung like a porn star. I know it\'s retarded, but I honestly believe that all that you need to make a woman love you is a great
Cock. I know on some level that\'s not true, but not at the core. At the core of me is this basic concept of women\'s view of sex with me that I have from when I was 14 years old.
because your
Dick is small, I don\'t love you, I\'m leaving you and you are worthless in my eyes.
I have at my core this thought, all the time, that I don\'t deserve love because I don\'t have the biggest
Cock, and that is just fucking ridiculous. I can\'t let this go on anymore. I have to get this out, and I can\'t talk to some therapist who doesn\'t understand this shit. Maybe I need to see a sexual therapist. I\'ve never tried one. I can tell you this for sure, I can make my girlfriend orgasm multiple times, average is twice, just from sex, but I still believe she is utterly unfulfilled by me, regardless of what she might say. I will not discuss any of this with her ever. That is the number one dangerous discussion to have when you are psychotic over your
Cock.
Penile Dysmorphic disorder I believe it\'s called. The male version of anorhexia. I literally can\'t see my
Cock as anything but small. Once upon a time, I could blame my natural size for that, but not now. I\'m above average, I know it, but I still look and feel small to myself.
Anyway, I put this in my progress thread because this is where my progress has gotten me, and I know now that round 3 won\'t fix it. At 8x6 I would feel small, because really, 9x7 is the new minimum standard. Anything less than that would be utterly unsatisfying for most women. This is not fucking reality, I know it\'s not reality, but this shit won\'t get out of my head. I am a grown man and this is ridiculous. This has to stop.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?
Any suggestions?