TOPIC: The Thin border between PE and TEA

Structural secondary post traumatic open reconstructive rhinoplasty - Part II
I spent five days wearing a cast and another ten days looking like I was wearing a mask from the play Cats. It looked as though I was sporting an animal snout with almost nothing human about it. This morning I woke up with what I would call a human appearance, just looking like a guy with a big nose. This is incredible because normally one would find this disgraceful, but to me it meant rejoining the human race again. I couldn\'t care less what I look like, in the short term at least, as long as I don\'t look like some circus freak. So looking like an ugly guy was quite a promotion to me. While I can\'t know for sure, it seems that the job was done properly.
This gave me the comfort to conclude that the worst was over and that things will only get better from here on out. And then I reflected on what was left to do and noticed that the only thing which needed tweaking any more was a tiny bit of loose skin caused by the recent 10 lbs lost in the previous two weeks. So I figured that since my nose is swollen anyways at minimum for another week if not a month, I might as well do whatever else requires recovery time and convalescence during the same period of social exclusion. So I gathered a bit of courage and called my Dermatologist to see what day he\'d have a free time slot, to which I heard \"today at 4:30PM\". To be continued.

Anti-Ageing Enhancement with high powered CO2 Fractional Laser Treatments - Part II
I got to the Dermatologist late due to Paris traffic blocked by the closing of the riverbank highway by the mayor who turned it into a temporary beach with millions of tons of sand. Nice for visitors and locals, but a mess for anyone trying to drive across the city.
It is good that this doctor knows me now well having already given me two multiple treatment sessions, so we got off to a rapid start. I had spent the hour drive over rubbing anesthetizing cream on my face and hands while driving in Paris traffic. The hard part was rubbing it into the eyes in a certain quantity without making them water or stinging the eye which just had surgery. I did this every ten minutes, as traffic permitted driving with two fingers on the wheel and as many on the manual shift knob, It was pretty messy bumper to bumper traffic making it challenging even to a seasoned road hand like me.
He was startled at how effective our last sessions had been seemingly happy that it could have worked so well. He asked me how my love handle and stomach procedures went with his colleague he had sent me to, and when he learned how expensive it was he told me he\'d charge me half price today to make up for all I had had to spend. He agreed however that what I had done was quite a lot cheaper and less invasive than the alternative, cosmetic surgery. By the same token his own interventions spared me having to have my eyelids operated by blapheroplasty. Not knowing of course of my PMMA injections or chemical PE efferts, but only about the other stuff, he said \"You\'re going to be the six million dollar man\" lol.

He did during his earlier sessions with me dial his intensities higher than for any other patient, and tried two new things he had never done before, probably a first in France, the back of the hands and the eyelids. He then asked me if the hospital authorized his using a metal shell to protect my operated eyeball so soon after surgery. They hadn\'t and I didn\'t even bother asking assuming they\'d tell me to wait six months. So I said \"yes they said it was okay\" and told him they had sealed the wound up with laser,. He didn\'t seem that convinced as he is the leading laser Dermatologist in the country and knows his lasers. lol
Anyways he was amenable and proceeded to get to my eyelids first. Fortunately I had not only rubbed on a whole lot of numbing cream on the eyelids in memory of the last session which hurt like mad, but also took three opium powder pills like those used at Dr C\'s clinic during the PMMA injections. He set for each area treated the laser at a higher intensity that what he had recorded previously, and went on to zap me so rapidly I couldn\'t believe how fast it was going.
They eyelids went great, the residual sags retracting instantly, and will look 25 years old when this heals in a week\'s time, The forehead was done in its full size to retract the skin as much as possible so that the thin horizontal lines which appear as wrinkles when I lift my eyebrows will no longer form during any facial expression. This part is not surefire, but stands a chance of working. He set the laser much higher to give it every chance. Thank goodness for the cream and pain pills. It just burns holes into you...
Then came my neck. Until a week earlier it was perfect. But losing 10 extra pounds had come a bit from here too and the skin was sagging slightly. I didn\'t know this but he said that even it is only needed at the center, he\'d need to zap as wide a surface as possible to provide maximum retraction. This time it was done without numbing cream but thankfully the pain pills made it bearable.
Let it be noted that not nearly as much of these treatments would have been needed if I had remained overweight, and I even think that weighing too much is what stretched my skin out more than ageing, causing more wrinkles than what one would have at my age. I remember a young man I know as a teenager, he was very large, not being able to sit down at anyone\'s house as it would break their sturdiest chairs. One day after a severe illness he lost it all and became thin. He was horrified because at thirty he was wrinkled up all over like an old man, which brought him to let himself go off the deep end, letting himself die. I was in a far lesser stage faced with a similar case of lose skin in serious need of retraction.
Then came the back of my hands, which with my latest weight loss looked like they were off an old man. Yikes, this couldn\'t be me! It wasn\'t only a few months ago. So he went at it, this time with the laser sounding at each zap as if it were cracking a whip. He told me he had cranked it way up, to make sure it is effective. And right now a few hours later my hands instead of looking seventy look thirty years old. The only part he wouldn\'t touch were the main finger articulations, which he said are fragile and have a tendency to scar. He said if later we want to we can always try.
On the drive home my hands burned so bad that I had to place them strategically on the steering wheel so that the air conditioning on max would blow cold air to put out the fire. When I got home I was yelping in pain and resorted for the first time in all of my procedures to take - afterwards - two more opium powder pills. This was one of my wisest moves. Within minutes I couldn\'t feel even a trace of pain and went on for the rest of the evening relaxed and cool as a breeze. Here\'s a picture taken two days later after the burning subsided thanks to frequent generous applications of A-Derma Rhealba Oat healing cream with 0.2% Hyaluronic Acid.

I\'ve got similar burns across the forehead and neckline which freaks out people so I must go out wearing a hat and sunglasses to not scare them. So that\'s my latest and perhaps very last incursion into laser burning skin treatments at least for this year. I will have gone from looking a good bit older than my age, due to the weight loss skin sags, to looking closer to 35 years old. Now all that is left to do is to get into better shape at the gym and maybe get a hold of a proper Human Growth Hormone injection treatment so that my insides are as young as the outside.
HC

@HC You must have deeper pockets than I my friend. A wife and three kids really put a damper on my personal beautification budget. HGH will affect your outside as well; grey hair, sagging skin, wrinkles, etc. seem to vanish as the months go by. Wish I could have afforded to stay on it full time. It truly is has miraculous healing/anti-aging properties.

@HC

That\'s encouraging news my friend. T injections would be my preference and I believe you are on the right track. Pellets would be next followed by transdermal gel. T and DHT are both potent androgens and should never be handled by women (especially pregnant or planning to become pregnant) or children. Most of my friends on TRT who are using Testim' wash the area well before engaging in sexual contact. I would take advantage of your GP\'s willingness to administer the free shot! Please share your experience with me. My T is 690 so I\'m in no need for TRT just yet. Good to hear from you as always. Keep me in the loop.

Miracle7

@HC
Wow you are doing a lot! I am all for total enhancement. Actually I think you are pretty spot on when you talk about the thin line between one improvement and total improvement. It only makes sense. There is always going to be the next thing on the list and completing one only makes you want to get the others done. I know I have my list (but not the cash).

@briceb
I agree with you that we\'re engaged in various ways in what is probably the most deep seated and difficult of quests to sort out, those which implicate our manhood. Once you\'ve gotten past that barrier the rest is child play.
Now this doesn\'t mean that one must go wild and start changing everything about oneself. I am only repairing accident damage, ageing erosion and aspects of weight gain and weight loss. This means I am FIXING stuff and not redoing myself to become somebody else.
That is an important thing to weigh and think about seriously. Once you start re-engineering yourself, as certain plastic surgeons do with their own bodies (Wade told me some even re-sculpt their feet!), then you\'re in an entirely different game of denying what nature gave you. Sure we do this with our penises through PE, striving for what nature robbed us of.
But this is not just a matter of self-image but one of psychological acceptance of one\'s body. Then there\'s the key motivator which is women\'s triggered desire which makes the sexual experience entirely more fulfilling. So it isn\'t as if getting your eyebrows lifted is going to get her to orgasm.
General appearance improvements can be a great boost but they must be approached with understanding that they can actually bring the opposite results of what one had hoped for. For example fixing one detail might reveal countless other flaws that detail masked. And there is no such thing as aesthetic perfection.
I even asked my plastic surgeon to leave a flaw in my rhinoplasty full well understanding that it is imperfection which reveals the perfection of the rest (quote from my master who studied at the Bahaus).
HC

@Miracle7
I got very lucky, my doctor just prescribed me the smaller 3-week shots of Testosterone enathate. I am going in this morning for a blood test and without awaiting results will get my first shot this evening, a 250mg dose of Androtardyl I am holding in my hand right now. This was because today he left on vacation and wouldn\'t be around to verify my levels, but he said one shot even if I\'m in the ballpark of normal shouldn\'t create any serious problems at all.
The doctors visit was free and fully refunded as will be his requested blood work, and the 3 week dose of Testosterone supplementation shot cost only ten euros which is about $14 - also fully refunded. The pharmacist said my doctors is a \"cowboy\" because normally he isn\'t allowed to prescribe it, only endoncrine specialists and urologists may. The pharmacist also played ball and let me have it anyways.
So even if I were to pay full price this would come to a total cost of $250 per year of product, to be contrasted with the six month Testosterone treatment proposed by AAG Clinics in the States which requires at least $1000 in doctors fees and blood work but also charges $3500 for six months treatment...
I get my shot administered by a registered nurse this evening in intramuscular injection to the fanny. I\'ll have him do it at the same time he takes the last stitches out of my ear. So I\'ll know in the coming week how it makes me feel, and since my blood work will be done before the shot I can contrast it with another. Since I\'ll be travelling I also got a second shot to take along, and will do more blood tests in 6 weeks time once I return having had a series of two shots.
HC

Today I went around to all the local blood test labs and the are all closed on Saturday if not on vacation until the end of the month. So I will just forsake that first lab test, which in any case would have possibly shown me at not much too low Test levels, and instead get them done after my two first injections are done and used up, six weeks down the road. The logic is that this way he can assume I may have been too low, and if my end results aren\'t way too high I can argue that it is working and that we must continue.
HC

Got the shot 15 minutes ago and this stuff has no instant effect. It must be because it is in intramuscular form injected into the buttocks which must be some form of biological time release mechanism. Also it was one of the smallish doses of only 250mg of Testosterone. The larger 14 week dose of 1000mg probably would have been more instantly noticeable. I will keep you posted later once I start noticing effects. The nurse also took out the Sutures in my ear where cartilage had been sourced for rhinoplasty. That was 2 and a half weeks later and now all that remains to heal is an overly swollen nose plus the laser burns on my forehead, eyes, hands and neck. Who said it\'s easy getting in the pink, first you have to go into the red at the bank and then they dig into the red (yeah, the messy stuff).
HC

1-hour update
I spoke too soon. I\'ve been invaded by a heat wave like you get after running a mile. It invades your body and spreads warmth and a similar feeling you get when your muscles are all warmed up from exercise. So far so good, it looks like it is powerful enough to have a rapid effect which can be felt, and if this holds up I think that I\'m fortunate to no longer have to take far less effective pills such as Methyl D-1.
HC

@HC
I love it man. You\'re like our personal guinnea pig, in a good way!

@briceb
Actually I\'m my own guinea pig... except for PMMA where others preceded me. The nurse who gave me the shot had never seen such laser burns and said pretty much the same thing. I\'m the first guy in the country to get the eyelids done with fractional CO2 which is considered way too harsh for such delicate skin. The opium pills sure helped along with the numbing cream. I am also maybe the first guy anywhere to get the back if the hands done, that really hurt especially when I cam home with them bleeding. But when you come to think of it with any surgery or medical intervention we are all guinea pigs since no case is identical to another.
HC

Structural secondary post traumatic open reconstructive rhinoplasty - Part III
Here are some pictures of the extent of the surgery. It only shows the tip of the iceberg so to speak. The nasal bone had been mashed and broken back when I had the accident and then sawed at and chiseled for hours during reparatory surgery back in the day. It had to be reworked during this recent surgery but it was too hard to get much done.

All the cartilage was buckled and twisted so bad in concave and convex forms that the surgeon couldn\'t reshape it or rework it and had to use special microligature grafting techniques he had pioneered to rebuild and reshape new ones. Adding to this his proprietary muscular tissue dressings he calls camouflage layering, he finished the job as best he could.

The tip had been exploded by the oar and was splitting into pieces which couldn\'t be patched so it had to come out and be replaced with the cartilage from my ear. That was an unexpected pleasure which gave the result you can see here.
Here\'s what it looked like to those in the operating room for the six hours on the block. It took him four times the expected time of 1.5 hours. I don\'t know just how hard it was and he did say that he had to improvise quite a bit and that my case was the worst mess he\'d seen. It didn\'t look nearly as bad on the outside as within.

Not exactly appetizing you will agree but I think this makes it easier to accept that any form of surgery is going to be invasive, except for simple injection procedures such as PMMA which hardly causes any impact at all in most cases.
HC

Hi EP,
I was on the operating block exactly 6 days after the PMMA injections by Dr C. So it has been 17 days today and while the rest of the nose is quite the same as originally but with the poorly repaired previous fractures fixed, I can\'t speak for the tip as it is still as swollen as a PMMA penis on day 3... I only hope it will deflate soon so that I can know. The first week it was all so swollen up it looked like I was wearing the headgear costume from the show CATS.
HC

Dd71 wrote: wow HC, that is ......for lack of a better word......crazy!!! You put your body threw alot for the of this woman. Now heres my questions.....if all goes well and you have her love, will you tell her what you did? Also on the other side of the spectrum ,what if after all that you have gone threw....for whatever reason you end up not falling for her....will you regret it?

Hi Dd71,
It has taken me a week to reply to your post, as I\'ve been quite under the shock of what you mentioned. This is actually what happens to be the case. I should have waited until we got together, instead of confiding at a distance. It seems that in our world there is a prevalent idea that one can only be what nature gave us. And that intervention in our physique or appearance can only be unnatural, artificial and suspect.
Wanting to be honest and open with her, I let it slip out that I had undergone several procedures without specifying which ones and especially not talking of PE. She became absent for a number of days not replying, and then told me our friendship could no longer be the same as she now \"felt uncomfortable\". She has since left my life permanently.
Yet I have no regrets or qualms about any of the efforts undertaken to regain control over many aspects of my life and bring myself into closer conformity not to some preconceived idea of whom I should be but to instead better reflect who I really am. This means that even if she chose to disown me, I can in no way disown myself. And I shall continue to either improve my quality of life or at minimum do what it takes to maintain it.
HC