TOPIC: So, having a big(er) dick doesn't matter if nobody wants to sleep w/ you

Yeah, there\'s a lot more sex on average - but a poster here said he had sex w/ 125 women after PMMA ... so I guess it can happen in the hetero world too. (And that is way more than any year I have on record - ever). I think it is generally easier to hook up, particularly if you\'re good looking and have a good body (not that I excel that much in either area - but at least I don\'t have saggy boobs). If you think about the numbers, if someone has been single for 10 years, they\'d easily have over 100 partners, if they wanted to have sex 10 times a year. A lot of gay relationships are open and I\'d say up to 75% of couples cheat (or are open) - so if you really wanted to have sex every day you could... but eventually you\'d run out of people. A \"fuck buddy\" situation rarely works out bc the guys I know like variety too much, especially in larger cities (which again is why you can hook up with a lot of different guys). Apps and bath houses greatly facilitate going from no sex to 10 guys in a week...both of which aren\'t precisely available in the straight world - though plenty of straight people hook up online & go to swingers parties, etc... so who knows. Gay men tend to be incredibly picky these days (largely thanks to online dating and selection criteria) - to the point of mental exhaustion - because they know everyone is so slutty, it\'s easy to keep sorting your potential hook ups to find a 100% match rather than settle for an 80%.

Interesting how social norms play a large part in what is funny.

HA - thanks mustang.

Well, the big problem w/ doing standup is that audience expectations are very high for unique material & a lot of topics are done & beaten to death. It\'s largely why I stopped (and I\'m also a little too old for the scene here - but not abroad). Any time anything interesting comes up in the news, you get 100 comics doing about a dozen similar jokes about it...and it gets stale in 24 hours. So, having anything unique is a huge bonus. Where I live, I am not that unique - but outside the country - I was obviously a curiosity & had a lot of material nobody ever heard before...so that\'s where I have done the best.

For example - when I was abroad, I met this guy from a city with a reputation for being very tough (not this last trip)...and at some point I thought - hmm - I am not sure if I\'m gonna get fucked or ed right now...but I kinda like it this way. So, I said this exact line to the audience (who also understand what guys from this city are like)...and it was one of the best jokes of the night (also - gay comics...who are actually funny...are rare). So, then I took the joke home, and it was a disaster...all the women in the audience let out a social justice & feminism 101 gasp - and the emcee (female) snatched the mic from me 30 seconds later claiming we were \"low on time\" - oh whatever, eat me. To make it even worse, the very same bitch (emcee) showed up on Chelsea Lately a dozen times... but was never funny...HA.. HA.. (I so badly want to say her name but it\'ll tie to me so easily).

Talking about having a small Dick has also been done to death - starting w/ Howard Stern... but this whole Mecican penis enlargement process has a lot of potential.

That would take some serious Balls right now to talk about getting Dick work done in your routine. Probably decade or 2 away from being like a boob job still.

\"Rain-Delay-Baseball-field-tarp condom\"

Dude, that is sooooo funny......

Puell75 wrote: I am sorry your holiday didn\'t go as planned but that is some entertaining stuff!

Hahaha - good. That\'s the only way I know how to deal with it. I used to actually do stand up comedy for years...and even in this other country too where I go on vacation. I totally ed it there which was a huge surprise since their sense of humor is different, but this angle works well (i.e., my life is fucked up & we\'re just gonna laugh about it - kinda joan rivers & her vagina falling on the floor w/ age, etc...except I don\'t use age yet).

I wrote a whole bit about getting my penis enlarged in TJ - but I never had the Balls to use it yet bc the scene is too small and I don\'t want the entire city knowing overnight. I\'m still on the fence about it. There are too many funny things about the ordeal to not talk about it.

I had sex w/ like 10-12 guys since I got back, so I feel better now. And it\'s been VERY easy...and now I\'m back to a few saying \"I was so surprised you were into me / so surprised you hit on me\" etc... so THANK GOD! (Of course there were a dozen rejections, but a 1:1 ratio is much better than a 1:1000000 ratio!!) My vacation was cursed, and I think I was too tan and had too much botox / filler - and just looked bizarre. I showed my family friend a pic and she\'s like wtf is up w/ your face (looked like puffy steroid face that was shiny from botox. Botox and tanning do NOT MIX cuz it makes you look like a shiny plastic doll since the skin cant contract normally from the tanning). It settled down now & everyone\'s back to treating me normally...including one major clinger and wants to be my wife or something...the recent texts are borderline disturbing for a one hour hook up...and he can\'t fucking spell.

Ugh. Can\'t be ugly. Can\'t be pretty.

I don\'t want to be rude or unsympathetic, I know it is your life and I am sorry your holiday didn\'t go as planned but that is some entertaining stuff! I have been with sane woman for over 20 years so I have no clue about single life. The Osama guy must have photo shopped his pics. Lol. I understand wanting to give new tool a go; I thought I was going to tear my wife a new one after R2 and it was more than .5 Inch bigger because I waited only 4 days and she didn\'t even notice. Lol. Boy was I surprised because I could definitely feel the difference. I guess after a few kids it going to take at least 6 Inch Girth to really make a difference. I think as long as she gets off size doesn\'t matter much and I\'ve always been able to get her to finish line. Really popped my bubble though

lol yea... that\'s my max for any year - ever. But, they weren\'t all good by any means. A handful of them were hot. The rest were PMMA celebratory hook ups - and one gave me scabies. (I think a fat bottom flight attendant with a cute face... based on the timeline...no more flight attendants - period.).

I had high expectations bc I go to this city every year and every time I meet some one (or two or three) guys that I have a good time with... sometimes all at once. lol. But THIS year - after I finally fixed my broken Dick surgically (december) AND got it filled with almost 50 cc of PMMA (in 2 rounds), I thought I could really let loose and have fun. So, I went to the gym 2x as much and made sure everything else was going good from a superficial gay standpoint (hence the facial filler - but also haircut, tan etc). Unfortunately, this year - I only met absolute cunty bitchy queens who had attitudes so disproportionate to their looks that I thought I was in the twilight zone. And, nobody was into me. Nobody! Fat old men with saggy boobs were giving me dirty looks. So, I don\'t know wtf happened.

I have made a few friends in this city over the years and I hung out w/ them and that part was fun...and some of them were guys I had sex with in the past...and now we just hang out. The chance of meeting someone on an app in a vacation is remote - but my (narcissistic ass hole) friend keeps rubbing it in my face how he met someone this way (in the same city) who then flew HERE to see him. Also, I still do tourist things sometimes...and that part was fun. I DID actually meet one guy who let me stay at his place for 2 nights who was really into me - and I liked him - but for some weird reason he had major ED and that was 100% Flaccid 100% of the time...so that was not great...but at least I got to see that city where I\'d never been before - and he was good looking and a nice guy. Everyone else pretty much sucked ass.

I think the worst was this Spanish guy who sent me 2 super hot pics and then showed up looking like osama bin laden w/ a beard - and cuz it was late and I was drunk and horny - I hooked up with him...and then he blocked me online after! And, i saw him in a bar later and he waddled away so fast - I was like - uh... you\'re the fugly one here... with very inaccurate pics...lets just get that straight.

Haha he means had sex or sexual fun with. Welcome to gays ; )

Restoration wrote: I removed most of this... I calculated that I hooked up with 40-50 guys since the surgery healed in Jan....

Hi Restoration,

What do you mean by hooking up with 40-50 guys? Just connected/chatted or...

Anyway - you probably had too high expectations and that can bring some disappointments especially on such a condensed time like holiday when every day counts. I don\'t know your circumstances but somehow I don\'t think hooking up with anyone through an app is deemed to have lasting success. Do you see a holiday as your prime season through out the year? I can\'t say I\'ve ever met anybody on holiday.

jlmb wrote: The only big change I\'ve seen with apps is that sometimes its harder to get guys in friend groups away at night time as they just wanna have fun with their friends and consider the day hookup time or whatever.

Oh totally. I noticed this for sure...in multiple cities. I was using it in a city on vacation, but it was still a mistake. I think people are just like - tourists are disposable. It was a waste of time to ever turn grindr on. Yea the bottom guy was insufferable... I didn\'t even like him. I eventually just left...shouldve left sooner.

I think there\'s like a weird slot machine addiction effect with the apps...intermittent reward... and as much as I hate them, it\'s so convenient and available... but I should be done with them already.

I get that people think the apps are ruining social interaction, but I think its more like its exposing you to people you normally would filter out. Some weird asshole at a bar with an attitude you\'re not gonna take home, but if he has a nice body on the app sure come right over, and then you dont have a positive time. I still get majority of my hookups from bars after real chemistry, when I do use apps its for meeting people when im in a new city and I chat for many days before meeting, or meet socially first. The only big change I\'ve seen with apps is that sometimes its harder to get guys in friend groups away at night time as they just wanna have fun with their friends and consider the day hookup time or whatever. It would make sense if you\'re having 90% negative experiences on it to stop using it hoping or something different, or change how you pick people.

Anyways I think If you\'re smart and filter a bit more with the apps youll have less problems. And you gotta be less sensitive with size comments, because with two guys unless you\'re really being polite or not talking much it might come up, cant let it your boner. He might of just been frustrated and wanted to get fucked alrady.

Yeah, jlmb it was a really bad bad vacation. I got home and ordered a massive pizza and pigged out duty free chocolate. That\'s about how bad it got. I was still miserable & asked my psychiatrist friend for ECT so I could forget the whole thing ever happened...lol.

I erased some of the other stories, but I think my expectations were too high...not bc of the Dick (I\'m still average - but at least it\'s average finally , not small and bent) - but I\'m in better shape & have more friends in the area now...and my 5+ prior trips there have been REALLY fun. This was like an epic fail on every level. Part of the problem is apps like grindr are ruining normal social interaction everywhere. I erased that part of the story. They change how people interact & also how flaky people are. I\'ve had 90% negative and 10% positive experiences on that thing.

I erased this story - but this bears repeating on this particular board. So, I met one guy and he had these shitty too-thick too-tight condoms, and I was like - no I need my own condoms cuz I will lose my boner with those - and he\'s like \"oh come on you\'re Dick is not that big - you don\'t need special condoms\" ... ugh. After surgery and 2 rounds of PMMA! And again, of course, I was bigger than him. (I\'m 6 x 5 basically - in real inches, not gay inches - he was thinner and shorter). I don\'t need magnums, but not even viagra can keep it up with a freaking Rain-Delay-Baseball-field-tarp condom. That was just incident 1 of 10.

Dude theres alot of sassy gay guys out there, I know its hard but you have to kind of get a tough skin about it. Enough people get facial stuff done that its nothing to be ashamed of, especially for anti-aging purposes. Just own it if confronted, and try to not go overboard if your concerned. You can give it right back to most of them.

Restoration....Hang in there. Do not take everything that everyone says seriously.....Some are just kidding with you....Take care of yourself....Fuck them (no, don\'t do that!)......If they do not like you or your looks, then they are not worth knowing you.
Good luck, man.