TOPIC: I HATE MY LIFE

Thanks undecided, your example highlights how we don\'t need to be \'normal\' or \'perfect\' to be happy and have a fulfilling relationship. And how there are people out there who are right for us despite our perceived imperfections or shortfalls.

IMO New1inch you are better off to focus on your actions rather than other people\'s reactions. An important lesson about anxiety is that when we focus on external outcomes that are beyond our immediate control, we give up control of our emotions and begin to feel anxious and helpless. The same is true in meeting people, approaching people, talking to people, trying to help people, trying to entertain people, etc. If we focus on their evaluation or approval of us, spending time with us, giving back to us, or any other reaction outside our control, we increase our anxiety and helplessness.

It\'s also helpful to learn the difference between non-assertive behaviour (\"I lose, you win\" - passive, indirect, avoidance); aggressive behaviour (\"I win, you lose\" - dominating, controlling, selfish); and assertive behaviour (\"win-win\" - caring, calm, understanding, diplomatic, honest, but direct and firm). The most successful relationships are usually assertive-assertive ones.

New1inch, try to focus on approaching people and being friendly. Focus on your talking and listening, your openness and honesty, your assertiveness, and your thinking positive thoughts. You can control what you think and do. And the result will be that you are setting attainable goals that you have control over. Knowing that can give you peace.

Don\'t get stuck with the false reasoning that you will not find a girl that will enjoy your company and enjoy intimacy with you, until your \'situation\' is resolved. Because this will most likely block you from actually meeting a \'right\' person, a potentially good match.In the long run, you may not want to invest much energy in a relationship if you don\'t receive enough of what you want. However, in the short run, focus on your actions as ends in themselves to \"practice your act\" and be the kind of person in a relationship that you want to be. Eventually others will respond positively as you get better at it and as you approach the right people.

Anyway, enough of my incoherent ramblings. I hope this helps you in some way. I just want you to know that there are women out there is this world who will love and accept you as you are right now, and that you can be a happy and fulfilled person. And you can have this regardless of any perceived imperfection.

nohidingstyle wrote: I\'m not sure the policy on linking to other sites but recently I saw something on lpsg that really opened my mind. There is a measured porn stars thread, and recently a few people on there have been doing a lot of work to gather evidence of porn stars actual sizes and doing a convincing job of it. Some are truly 8-9.5, but most are 6.5-7.5. Even guys who say there like 10 are really 7ish. There is a whole industry around making men feel inadequate and porn is the linchpin.

Please post the link if you can. I\'d love to take a look at it. Porno does make things worse. But even regular guys that are not porn stars and jus upload private vids online are huge. It makes it look like everyone is huge but you.

nohidingstyle wrote: I\'m not sure the policy on linking to other sites but recently I saw something on lpsg that really opened my mind. There is a measured porn stars thread, and recently a few people on there have been doing a lot of work to gather evidence of porn stars actual sizes and doing a convincing job of it. Some are truly 8-9.5, but most are 6.5-7.5. Even guys who say there like 10 are really 7ish. There is a whole industry around making men feel inadequate and porn is the linchpin.

No doubt, and girths are probably closer to 5.5\" MSEG from some things I read (then again, no real proof, just speculation). No doubt camera tricks and inflated stats have lead to the belief that the average porn star is massive. He\'s just considerably larger than average. At least that\'s what I\'ve gathered. Keyword, average porn star. Surely there are some real freaks out there, but they are just that, \"freaks\" - a word meant to imply their rarity.

As for what the rules say about linking other sites: it cannot be pornographic (as in show an Erect penis performing or being performed on) and cannot be commercial in nature either. I suspect the link to the lpsg thread is okay, just post it if you believe it doesn\'t blatantly break forum rules and I\'ll review it. Check out the link in my signature for added clarification.

I\'m not sure the policy on linking to other sites but recently I saw something on lpsg that really opened my mind. There is a measured porn stars thread, and recently a few people on there have been doing a lot of work to gather evidence of porn stars actual sizes and doing a convincing job of it. Some are truly 8-9.5, but most are 6.5-7.5. Even guys who say there like 10 are really 7ish. There is a whole industry around making men feel inadequate and porn is the linchpin.

biggg1 wrote: I agree 100% with DWD, New1inch never chose to have what he has he was born with it unlike people who want to join the military thats their choice. I know exactly how you feel New1inch and what you go through everyday some people really dont have a clue what it\'s like. I\'ve suffered the last 15 years of my life because of my penis and havent experienced anything in life because of it, i\'ll be 30 in sept. Like new1inch I have a family who loves me which has helped me keep going. I dont have the same thing New1inch has but I had a bad botched circ which left me terrified/scared and ashamed to show girls/women and it completely fucked up the way I see myself. I dont see this tall handsome guy everyone says I am I just see botched circ. I\'ve also had my best friend question if I was gay which i\'m not and I have nothing against them. If I didnt have what I have i\'d be married with kids just like dane is which some people that i know personally take for granted. New1inch we should chat sometime brother as I can relate to what you have been through and i\'m also working like you on making my penis bigger and have made some decent gains i\'m 100% dedicated to it.

I agree with this.. Not to say they Chose to get missing limbs and I\'m grateful for what they do. But just because theres people worse off doesn\'t mean my problems are any less important to me. Its not like I\'m upset because my 60\" tv broke. I have a real deformity thats affecting my life.

I agree 100% with DWD, New1inch never chose to have what he has he was born with it unlike people who want to join the military thats their choice. I know exactly how you feel New1inch and what you go through everyday some people really dont have a clue what it\'s like. I\'ve suffered the last 15 years of my life because of my penis and havent experienced anything in life because of it, i\'ll be 30 in sept. Like new1inch I have a family who loves me which has helped me keep going. I dont have the same thing New1inch has but I had a bad botched circ which left me terrified/scared and ashamed to show girls/women and it completely fucked up the way I see myself. I dont see this tall handsome guy everyone says I am I just see botched circ. I\'ve also had my best friend question if I was gay which i\'m not and I have nothing against them. If I didnt have what I have i\'d be married with kids just like dane is which some people that i know personally take for granted. New1inch we should chat sometime brother as I can relate to what you have been through and i\'m also working like you on making my penis bigger and have made some decent gains i\'m 100% dedicated to it.

I don\'t mean to be a Dick but minimizing someone else\'s pain by talking about how much worse someone else has it isn\'t helpful. There are people who have suffered unbelievable torture in this world, things so horrifying they are beyond description. Does that mean that we should not wince in pain and be in agony if we burn our hand on a hot stove? At what point are we allowed to feel pain? How great does it have to be before we can confess it to our brothers? A toe? A foot? What is the exact point we are allowed to show feelings?

Someone always has it worse. It doesn\'t mean you don\'t have a right to feel your own pain. I know you want to help, and you are going about it in your own way and I respect that, but maybe there is another way, the way of compassion and self expression.

We don\'t always have to be strong and tough.

@New1inch. I have many soldier friends in Europe and USA.
Man you might feeling bad about the minors you mention and I am sorry for that. But these Guys have lost arms, legs, penis , eyes even part of thier face during Iraq war. And they are happy to be alife and they fight to get the best out of it.
Its your life, you can take it if u Desire, but its the only life u will live.
Your call, make the best out of it even if its by looking at nice trees or good food.
No one said it would be easy to live !!! but struggling makes you feel more alife

Thanks everyone.. I just needed a place to vent because I can\'t talk to friends and family about my problems and even if I went to a shrink they wouldn\'t understand me. Sometimes I just wish I had a more normal quote on quote looking penis. I would trade with someone with a 4.5\" length penis in a beat over mines because I know I could change the size anyways. It jus sucks the cards I\'ve been dealt. I\'m tired of watching porn and wacking off. I even considered prostitution and went on backpage but I heard to many horror stories. It jus really sucks and is affecting all aspects of my social life. I will get past it eventually maybe in a few years who knows. Once I get to 6.5\" or 7 with some added girth I will see how I feel about it then.

I wholeheartedly subscribe to the beautiful replies to New1Inch\'s post. Dear New1Inch, you truly are a remarkable man. A cool guy. Don\'t surrender. You are a very smart man with an acute perception of reality. And you are a fighter. Continue to inspire the brothers in this forum. We count on you.

Hey man, I unfortunately understand one part of your post extremely personally and I can tell you it will such the joy and life out of every part of your life. Hating your job kills you. I\'m in my 30s, and I have been in my field for a good while now. I\'m stuck at a job that I dread every single day and no matter what I do in the rest of my life, no matter how good or bad it is, having to come do something pointless, meaningless and repetitive makes me want to die. That\'s why I\'ve decided to leave my good paying job and go back to school. I\'ve heard I\'m too old to do what I want to do many times but I would rather do what my tells me I should than to live a life of drudgery.

The cheesy movie \"Joe vs the Volcano\" is a very apt metaphor for life in a job you hate. He works in the basement of a rectal probe factory pushing paper and becomes a hypochondriac thinking he must be terminally ill because he always feels bad. I just realized I\'ve been going through the same thing. It\'s funny and worth a watch.

I\'ve followed your progress constantly and I think you\'re an awesome guy who\'s had his confidence destroyed by the world. Most of the people on this forum have, that\'s why we\'re a brotherhood. Well, flat out, I think your dedication, honesty, and humility make you someone I have admired and related to since I\'ve been coming here. I\'m wearing an ADS right this second because YOU convinced me that manual PE works. Hearing what you wrote today made me feel like I\'m not alone and that it\'s worth sticking around. Thank you for your openness and willingness to share your pain. If you ever want to talk, PM me and we\'ll exchange numbers. I could use a friend who can actually say something real.

Change something if what you\'re doing isn\'t working. If that doesn\'t work, change something else. That\'s how scientists invented everything from planes to surgery to nuclear weapons. It can fix our lives too, I\'m sure of it.

Jimmyjames is right about porn, the media and skewing things towards these perfect cocks.Its hard not to come out of it depressed.You are not in this alone and keep researching, there may be a solution one day.keep your hope alive.Be open about your condition to potential mates and you will find someone who likes you and your Dick.There are women who will find you hot in other ways, so won\'t care about it, could even like it.And totally agree with you on how annoying it is that there are fixes to so many problems, to do with the brain etc, complicated operations, yet when it comes to the penis, it seems there\'s not that many options.

I don\'t have the exact same issues that you have, but I do know how you feel. We all have struggles, man. Think about this, though: given that you\'re having a hard time, and dealing with a rare condition, think of the strength it took you to make it this far. You\'re doing better than you think. I know you feel like giving up, but you have to remember that you do have the strength to keep going. Anyone who keeps up a PE routine and makes real gains shows, to me, potential for commitment to and engagement with a lot different worthwhile things. Really. It might sound silly but I followed your thread and I\'m impressed with what you\'ve been able to do. That kind of focus and passion will serve you well, whether it\'s in a career or with a woman.

I know it\'s easy to say, and you have a history with this particular woman, and I\'m sure, very deep feelings for her, but she wasn\'t right for you. It was cruel of her to refuse sex with you, in my eyes. Not every woman is like that. Women aren\'t always pleasant, but it gets better than that, I can assure you. I think we\'re all here because we overrate the importance of our dicks, for various reasons. I\'ve always had ED, and that has made me overly conscious about my Dick. In my more rational moments I know that it would never prevent a woman from falling for me, but nevertheless I still freak out about it. Women ultimately love confidence and self possession. It might sound crazy, but maybe you could turn it around, and joke and laugh about it? Just own it. Work on being the best man you can be, but have the humility and good humor to laugh at yourself and not wallow in pity. This is the main mistake I make, so I know how hard it is. I struggle with depression daily too, man, feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk in more depth.

I want you to know I have see nothing but a caring , humble , hard working man when I read your posts. The reason you have not been able to yourself is not because you don\'t have the Balls is because you are worth to much! Please please do not ever think of doing that again!! Look around and see the bad things that are happening from not so good people. We need good men like yourself to continue to do good things!!! I will not pretend to know what you are going through, we all have our own walk, but you are only focussing on your perceived faults. Outside looking in from very limited knowledge of your situation I have a few things to give you advice.
- sell the burdens that keep you from your dreams. If bills are keeping you from them find a way to get rid of or reduce the bills that are burdening you!!
- I don\'t know where you look for women but a good place to start is usually a church. They may not be perfect but they at least are trying. Second would be an online service, feel them out for what kind of person they are. Don\'t concentrate on looks . Forget finding one in the bar or club, good chance they may have many problems they will bring with them.
-get a plan with goals to achieve them . Know that this will not be over night. But every step you make is towards your goal. I know you can do this because of your PE story.
- do things that are uplifting to you, go after things you are truly good at, maybe different than you think.
- go to church, find out how you are not alone in this journey! Btw most important !!! Now you matter!! We need more good men, please don\'t forget how important that is!!!
Take care and God Bless
Pm me any time if you need talk! You are a good man!
Btw these are just thoughts and they helped me, you can use then or not ! Very simple things I am typing on an iPhone so hard to get detailed.

Sorry to hear that your are having such a hard time with life right now. Your story is upsetting and I can imagine what you are going through. I suggest that you go full steam ahead to accomplish your career goals and don\'t stay in a job that you hate. I was in a similar situation and made a plan and quit. I wanted to travel the world and teach English so that\'s what I did. I don\'t make the same amount of money but my life experiences have increased ten fold and my stress has reduced by the same. I\'ve working on becoming fluent in another language and then I will tackle another after that.

You need to quit hyper focusing on your Dick. I am a hypocrite when I say that because I have always had that problem ever since I hit puberty and I noticed other guys had bigger than me. Then the media, porn, and a host of other things made me feel inadequate and I could never shake those feelings. I have finally stop the obsessing with my penis even though after three PMMA procedures it is less than perfect. I looked at your pictures and I think that your penis looks perfectly acceptable. It\'s not he ideal penis that has been drilled into our heads by porn but it\'s not terrible at all. I know you say the underside is bad but I can\'t see those photos. Either way you have to move on with what you have and make the best of your one life. A woman will love you for a lot more than your Dick. Work on your goals and own life and a woman will fall into place when you least expect it. If you have negative thoughts of and hating life, you might have a negative aura around you that can repel women. Make a plan and set goals to get out of the job you hate and don\'t think about your penis so much. Good luck!