TOPIC: Penile Dysmorphic Disorder

I don\'t know if I would call PDD imaginative. Maybe I\'m just splitting hairs.

Thanks for your answers so far.

I had read here in the forum that some of you are heavily engaged in PE, in spite of being already well-endowed; that\'s why I thought I could add my own story as well. Also some of you have quite ambitioned goals for their final erected length or Girth, which I would consider as far too big (e.g. 3 inches in diameter, or 8 inches in length).

Today, on the one hand, I am quite confident about my erected penis. I know it is big enough for every purpose and well above average. On the other hand, I am still embarrassed sometimes when I see other men in the showers who habe a bigger Flaccid penis than I have erected. How could such people with such a horse dong not be content about their size? My Flaccid penis and the low-Hanging Balls really vanish in my undies!

But I would NEVER want to undergo any surgical procedure with my Cock or Balls; it already freaks me out to think that any \"foreign\" material, fat, pmm would be placed into my shaft, injected, cut off or whatsoever. Even if I suffered even more because of penis size, I would never like my body to be harmed to \"cure this out\". I\'m not even Circumcised, which is the normal case here in Europe. No baby boy is circed here at birth or in later childhood, except for religious reasons with Jews or Muslims, or because of serious medical indication.

I already serached through the Internet for German forums or groups, but nowhere I found the good atmosphere, the serious contributions and high level of argueing and discussion as here in PhalloBoards. I will keep on searching, but please let me stay here for another while, as long as I haven\'t found an adequate substitute.

Btw., I really appreciate your attempts to overcome your penile problems, be them only imaginative (like with PDD), or real (like with having a micropenis). But is it worth the time you afford on surgeries, stretching, jelquing, ...? What will happen if you reached your goals; more surgery, more stretching? Is it really about the penis? I wasted already too much time in spying after other men\'s dicks and Internet research, while I instead could have had quality relationships with real people, not connected with sex topics, just friendships, maybe dating girls, and so on. I still spend much time in sex-related forums like these, also in Germany, because I am fascinated by the topic and I also want to help people (especially young boys) with similar problems of self-esteem during puberty. But I drilled the time spent on such things down to an adequate level...

Best regards,
Harry the marsupilami

Greetings marsupilami,

You definitely have a large penis, and your obsession with not being \"bulgy\" enough and thus feeling inadequate is symptomatic of dysmorphia. Glad you can see this, and hopefully you wont risk or jeopardize the great size and great sex you have now with needless & risky surgical intervention(s).

Maybe there are some like-minded people on this board who live in your area? Get together and talk about these issues, you may come to find you\'re quite well off (you seem to know this, but refuse to accept it). Good luck, let us know if anythings developed.

Hello to all,

This is my first post to PhalloBoards ever, and I apologize not to have introduced myself before, e. g. by a cool story of my PE history (I have none). I joined this board because I have/had issues with my genitals, too, and I like the high quality level of your posts here, which is nothing to be expected when discussing such a topic like penis problems, sexuality and the like in the public. Btw., I think all of the Mods do a wonderful job here.
I am a native German age 49, living in Germany with my wife and my two teenage children (boy, 14 and girl, 11 y/o), and looking from the outside I seem to lead a quite normal and happy life (in fact we do, besides all the troubles you normally have with job, children, marriange and so on...). But there is that nagging problem which is keeping me busy since childhood: and it is about (play the drum rolls and a fanfare) the appearance of my Cock and Balls. I posted this here in the PDD thread because I think this is the name of the epidemy which has caught also me, even if it did never get as pathological as in some of you guys here.

How the problem evolved: I had no ideas about being \"too small\" or \"too large\" in childhood. I didn\'t have any possibility to compare, either. There was no internet or private TV channels, and sexuality was a taboo topic in post-war Germany. I used to fondle with my Dick like to play air guitar with it, showed my stiff 10 cm (nearly 4\") boy boner proudly to my 5 years older sister (we had a very good and descrete relationship), and so on. At primary school, we never undressed completely before or after sports, and I had never been in a soccer or swimming club, where the chance of seeing other naked boys (and comparing with them) would have been higher. I just did not care...

It changed all at Gymnasium (the highest school form in Germany with classes 5 to 13, now 12), when some of the elder schoolmates ran into puberty, long before I did. Unfortunately, these were also the guys who were best in sports, while I had always been the one to remain last when counting out teams... In other words, I was unsporty like a sack full of rice, and I had also added a little belly due to too much (and to good) food at home. The guys I\'m speaking of were well-trained, had some muscles, were not shy to hit the showers naked after sports (they seemed to be full of self-confidence), and when they got dressed again, their genitals formed a quite big bulge in their undies. I remember one day when one of the guys stood quite in front of me (on the other side of the room) naked after shower, his penis semi-erected (he didn\'t care). It was a fascinating view and I had problems not to make my staring too obvious for him. His penis was much bigger in this half-Flaccid state than I could ever be when fully Erect! But what made me wonder most was that none of the guys seemed to make a big thing out of being naked. I (and many others in my class) never undressed more than necessary to give ourselves a catlick...

From that age on, I became somehow obsessed with penis sizes, girths, Erection angles and others. I had no really good friend, couldn\'t talk with anybody about my problems. But we had a quite good school library, and I spend school breaks and lunch times reading books about anatomy, sexual education, and the like. But none of the books could answer my questions: Was I \"normal\"? Was my Dick big enough? Was my Erection angle a \"normal one\"? My Erection angle was something less than 90 degrees, meaning it pointed more to the ground than into the sky. I was also not content with my Balls: I was (and still am) a real low-Hanger; the scrotal skin is usually very thin, skinny, and wide, leaving my testicles in mid-air between my groins and my knees. When I sit down, they often fall between my legs, making sitting uncomfortable.

Being loaded with all my complexes and low self-esteem, I never dated any girl at school time, not even later when I studied computer science at University. I started to be fascinated by other boys\' penises, which I found in sex magazines, in the early Internet (yeah, there has never been an Internet without porn) and the like. I tried to contact other bi-courious students by leaving messages on the university toilet walls, but I never ended up with a real date. My shyness was too strong, as well as my self-esteem regarding my size.

Some posters here mentioned that they spent much money and much life time into their \"obsession\"; I also spent many days in places where I could secretely watch other boys peeing or masturbating, just to see other dicks which I could compare with mine. I also felt aroused by the situation and by viewing other penises. Several times I even met with a boy in a locker room or the university toilet to have a wank together. All those guys, however, had a bigger and thicker Cock than me, so this did not help my low self-esteem. To fight against my low-hangers, I invented special wrapping methods, tying a cloth handkerchief around my Balls and penis shaft, to give it a tighter look and some bulge. But it is not very comfortable to have a handkerchief knotted round your Dick, especially when you see something that gets you aroused...

Just to \"drop the pants\" here, I had never any penile enhancement surgery or anything similar. I never tried. On one hand, I was discouraged by the reports of uselessness of such attempts in serious magazines and medical boards. On the other, I was too coward to have anybody fumble with his scalpel near my jewels, possibly with a chance to botch everything. Today, I even know that my size is even more-than-average (for German relations). In Germany, the average erected length is 14.5 cm (something like 5.7\"), while erected Girth is 12.3 cm (4.8\"). My erected length is about 18 cm (7\") and Girth 14.5 cm (5.7\"). The downside is, I am an extreme Grower (blood penis), not a shower. When Flaccid, my Dick looks really ridiculous. I am 1.94 m high (6 ft 4.4\") while my Flaccid penis dangles unseen with its 4\" length and about 1\" width... I do not want to offend anyone here who cannot keep up with these measures, but I feel it is not enough to make a good shape. When I am in swimming trunks or in briefs, there is nearly no bulge whatever.

Now that I am married and have children, you could say \"what do you want? Here you have the proof that you can have good sex, and that a woman will love you, in spite of a small (Flaccid) penis\" and so on, but this is only half the truth. Okay, meanwhile I have put aside my shyness in showers (still enjoy showing and looking at other penises being there naked), I KNOW that I am above-average sized, my wife confirms that my penis is quite big (sometimes maybe even too big), but there is STILL the envy for other men who look \"bulgier\", have steeper erections, can ejaculate more, spurt wider and so on. When I look in the mirror, it really looks small on me. Sometimes I think it\'s in a man\'s competitive genes. Sometimes I think I\'m the only man who feels like this. I even start to be envious against my son, who has started puberty, has a very vertical Erection (I spied after him; shame over me!), and a few months ago he also started masturbating frequently. His penis is by far not as big as mine, but he is well on the way; his testicles and penis nearly doubled size in the last two years. He can have erections within seconds; you wouldn\'t even know he has one, because of his Erection angle which goes straight up to his tummy. I could not remember that I went through puberty with the same speed; everything was so boring slow.

Having a busy job and a family, there isn\'t much time now to ponder about these problems; I just feel like time is running and I didn\'t make the life and experiences a normal guy should have made, just because of my complexes and anxiety. Maybe there is somebody out there who feels similar, or at least someone who can understand this situation of isolation and \"feeling small\" and not adequate to being a man. I know that being a man takes much more than just having big Balls and Dick, but being a man with big Balls an Dick should even feel much better...

Thanks for reading so far, and pls excuse my English.

Harry

Had some new thoughts on this. I sometimes wake up and see it and think \"wow I\'m huge, I\'m really lucky\" then other times I wake up and see it and think \"I\'m so small\".

Since my pathology seems to effect my perceived penis size, I\'d say I do have a dynamo rigid disorder.

Any therapists in the room? DSM help?

As for dysmorphia, I can give a perfect example from last night. I was looking in the mirror thinking how small I am. Really just disgusted. Then I looked over at a lighter, and thought \"that\'s how big my Flaccid is.\"
Then I picked up the lighter and held it next to my Dick and it was like half the length of my Dick. My Flaccid averages about 5.5 inches, which from everything I read is well above average, and yet I still feel tiny, and it looks tiny to me. I almost don\'t believe rulers and measuring tapes anymore. Dysmorphia can f**K your head up something fierce.

Oh, for reference\'s sake should anyone ever search the topic, Wade also said and I quote;

\"Both the \"high and tight\" and the \"low and tight\" are optimal for this procedure, since loose skin can become problematic in some patients. In the \"low and tight\" you will have a very esthetic looking penis, showing a very little Circumcision scar. However, and I do not know medically if this is true, but the \"high and tight\" may provide more sensation, since you have preserved more of the inner Foreskin.\"

Yeah, I asked Dr Wade, and he said, and I quote \"Dr. Casavantes is recommending that you perform the Circumcision before starting any PMMA treatments. This will allow you to be a bit more aggressive, and get closer to your expected gains.\"

I have my Circumcision op booked for several weeks from now, once it is recovered, I\'ll go and see Dr C as early as possible, and will spend the weeks/months until my appointment Hanging/stretching/Jelqing like a mad man.

I was saving to buy a house, but I have to kill this size anxiety, its more important, otherwise it\'s like I\'m not alive.

Dude, I am .25\" shorter than you (although working on that with manual PE) and I was 4.25\" Girth before PMMA. I was called little Dick by all my friends for years as a teenager and hated myself for such a long time. I was almost losing my mind, and I want you to know you\'re not alone and it\'s not as big a deal as you think it is. I promise.

You\'re right about thing though. If I was uncut, I would get Circumcised before I got PMMA. No question.

6.75 in length is not a bad size... all u need is some PMMA and ull be ok. most people love to have what u have. 6.75 is a decent size.

Worrying about the size of my cock has consumed my life, and robbed me of innumerable sexual encounters, it has crippled me, to the point I can\'t enjoy anything, or can\'t be bothered trying, as I am not even a real Man with this pathetic thing between my legs, it has ruined my marriage, and it has ruined my life, and now I am too old to start over, I have attempted suicide once, and I think that just killing myself may be the only answer, as I like a waste of space, and that life is only for real men, not jokes like me.

It makes me laugh that PMMA could help me, but works best on circumcized people, yet I am uncircumcized, and it doesn\'t work well for severe retractors or growers, and I am a severe grower that can\'t stop his cock from turtling savagely all the time, ie, I have the worst cock possible even for PMMA. It\'s like life is just fcuking with me.

I\'d give anything to know what it felt like to make love to a woman, and to be able to fill her completely, move her on a deep level, so that she was completely fulfilled and sated, and I know in my that I can\'t come even close, and that woman want men that can do that to them, men that can \"inflict\" pleasure on them

6.75 x 4, that\'s right, have a good laugh, I am laughing even harder at myself, it\'s no wonder my ex wife never wanted to sleep with me

I understand this concept. I am grappling with this as well. But I\'m not convinced I have dysmorphia. I have a very large penis already and yet I can\'t stop trying to figure out how to make it bigger. Is that dysmorphia? I don\'t think I have a small penis. I don\'t think it\'s smaller than I know it is. In fact I look at it and am quite pleased. Sometimes I imagine having a smaller penis and even that pleases me. Yet when I imagine having a slightly larger or much larger penis that pleases me even more. Am I de facto dysmorphic? I\'m not even depressed or anxious about my size now, I just want more... Any insights?

100% accurate description of what I am going through right now.

duplicate...meant to edit... I \"quoted\" myself.