TOPIC: I'm thinking about asking my dermatologist for $ back

I am really on the fence about this... but the last plastic surgeon I saw (for something else) told me that the derm basically did everything wrong (I heard this before from my uro). It\'s also turning into a hypertrophic scar in one spot (like a keloid on my Dick).
The thing is - I paid $1752 to him, ON TOP of what my insurance paid. This is an odd situation, because my high school friend is his partner in the office (though she\'s kind of not that friendly anymore). And, that was the only way I could even get him to treat me. Nobody wants to touch a pt with some mexican filler in their penis. He was VERY nice to me through the whole ordeal. But, he botched the PMMA Removal badly.

I basically went through hell because of what he screwed up, not because of what the PMMA did. Cutting out the lumps was something I was always prepared for. I was never prepared for this open wound situation.
---- I am putting this together... but it\'s a draft of my thoughts / what I will include.
My two reparative surgeries with the uro were $230 each (discounted rate from the $880 billed to insurance). Each surgery took over 45 minutes, and both were done in the OR at $3000 per treatment ($1000 after discount). I now have a ' shorter penis (the skin cannot expand) and asymmetrical skin which has created even more of a lumpy appearance on the side without excisions. It is hard to believe that I paid $1752 for this - because my wound wouldn\'t close, it had to be cut out. It would not heal by secondary intention. I saw two wound care docs about it - and they said it was highly unlikely.I know I came to him with a problem that was not easy to deal with..but he should\'ve sent me to a Urologist or plastic surgeon.My doc thought the choice to use silk Sutures (that caused a reaction) and lack of buried Sutures is what caused the open wound. He only uses silk Sutures as a temporary tie. Also, the internal structures weren't held together in a layered manner. After his extensive excision, there wasn't even any pain because he essentially attached the fascia back together in addition to the skin with monocryl buried Sutures and nylon vertical mattress Sutures do ensure the wound wouldn't separate again. There isn't even a large scar now from that, but I am missing a lot of skin. I had to walk around with an open wound oozing some kind of fluid for 2 months - on my penis. It's only now that I'm recovering psychologically from the last 9 months. I gained 25 pounds during this process.If the wound had just been closed, I would not have had to go through everything I did in the last year. This had been an agonizing year, and I couldn't really interview for jobs with the way I was feeling - and even physically traveling to out-of-state locations was very difficult (I made it to two interviews out of state, but I didn't get those jobs unfortunately). Oh, did I mention I am unemployed?? Fuck me twice - yeah.

Obviously, I am not even remotely trying to make this some kind of 'demand letter' or worse. It's really just up to you and what you think is right in this case.

Every hour you spend on a proposal that will surely get scoffed at, you could be spending time on other ways to make money or find an employer.

In my profession, if I go out on a limb for you, its more expensive.

He took a chance on you, you took a chance on him. The outcome fucking sucks. But its still the outcome. I\'m sure you had the look of desperation on your face when you came into his office. Why didn\'t you take it upon yourself to see a plastic surgeon or uro in the first place?

I wouldn\'t ask the guys at jiffy lube to rebuild my transmission.

First, you told me (gay for 20 years) to try to be date women in some other post... as if that wasn\'t bizarre enough - now you are saying this:

Every hour you spend on a proposal that will surely get scoffed at, you could be spending time on other ways to make money or find an employer.

Nobody is going to \"scoff\" at anything. My friend is in the practice. My dad is a doctor. My uncle is a doctor. I have a PhD in a medical field. I understand doctors pretty well. There\'s a relationship, responsibility, and an ethical issue here. It is not about asking him to \"go out on a limb\". He knows what he did was wrong. He said it. I had an open wound on my penis for 2 months - you don\'t think he knows he caused a problem? I am asking about refunding a lot of money that was collected while fucking up. Some doctors have been known to refund things to avoid malpractice suits or because they are decent human beings. Being in the medical field, I would know because I\'ve seen it. You, obviously, do not know what you are talking about - so try not to speak on matters of which you know nothing. By the way, getting a refund from other surgeons has come up on this exact board before - and that was certainly NOT the reaction it got.

Regarding the time spent: I spent 6 years writing 100 pages a week - so that outline took me about 20 minutes. That\'s why I can type a lot here, and I can also provide very detailed info. I write fast. It's not taking precious time away from my 'job search'. Academic job searches don't work on the same calendar as job searches for someone who sells farm equipment or works at McDonalds. I mentioned the unemployed thing so that he would be more likely to refund me. I\'ve gotten refunds & sued people who have paid me far more than this. That\'s how the world works, though you\'ve shown that you are kind of oblivious or sheltered from a lot of things in that post & others. I sued the person I bought my property from for failure to disclose issues (which is required by law) - and I got a lot of money back. Should I just have left that alone? Was it my fault for buying the place and believing the home inspector that there were no issues? You screw up, you\'re negligent (Duty / Breach) you get sued - or you make up for it another way. This issue too small to sue over due to court costs, and that approach is too aggressive. Also, this isn\'t just about the money. I left my job on my own to make some changes to my career path & don\'t \"need\" money for a while.

I\'m sure you had the look of desperation on your face when you came into his office. Why didn\'t you take it upon yourself to see a plastic suregeon or uro in the first place?

I was obviously freaked out by having my Dick full of huge lumps that weren\'t there after 2 rounds, but even if there \"desperation\" - doctors are the ones who have to tell you what they can and cannot do. This is not the patient\'s responsibility. I saw a plastic surgeon and Urologist (as you just \"suggested\" above), but to my exact point - he said he could not do anything. He lacked the experience and the training in this issue, and many others say the same. As I have posted many times, plastic surgeons don\'t like to deal with the penis, and urologists don\'t know anything about PMMA. My derm has taken out artefill (PMMA) from the face many times. He wasn\'t the \"Jiffy Lube\" of dermatologists (though you seem to be the Jiffy Lube of forum posters, given your propensity to misread things & make bizarre statements).Regarding the \"Jiffy Lube\" comment; the irony of that statement is apparently lost on you. That\'s exactly what people say when they know people have gone to Tijuana for a cosmetic procedure.

Also, don\'t poke a bear & think you aren\'t going to get a reply. Given what you've written (broadly), I can see you're reading comprehension & general understanding of the world (e.g., medical issues, human sexuality, etc..) is lacking too bit much to be able to take any of this information in. It\'s certainly very nice of you to side with the doctor who left me with an open wound on my Dick for 2 months, though. Thanks!

1. Your not a bear, your a whiny little bitch.
2. Its laughable that you\'d even try to call me out on my profession. Your unemployed and not getting hired anywhere apparently. If I told you my income, you\'d accuse me of lying. Hahaha I really get a kick out of this one.
3. You blame Dr. C and nurse Wade. You blame the Dermatologist. You\'ve blamed doctors in the past...look in the mirror and you\'ll see whos to blame. Why would you even put that you gained 25 lbs..is he to blame for your body fat also?
4. You and your family are in the medical field yet nobody stepped up to help a family member with oozing open wounds that wont close? Hmmm..Or thought all these procedures might leave you with what you now have as a penis?

Talking about going after a doctor for $1752..and wasting your time doing so. But claiming you left your job because you didnt need the money..seems valid lol.

Getting back to the subject at hand......

I don\'t think it\'s unreasonable to ask for a refund,


Don\'t know of you will get one,

I do know you will never get one if you don\'t ask for it

jd123 wrote: 1. Your not a bear, your a whiny little bitch. 2. Its laughable that you\'d even try to call me out on my profession. Your unemployed and not getting hired anywhere apparently. If I told you my income, you\'d accuse me of lying. Hahaha I really get a kick out of this one. 3. You blame Dr. C and nurse Wade. You blame the Dermatologist. You\'ve blamed doctors in the past...look in the mirror and you\'ll see whos to blame. Why would you even put that you gained 25 lbs..is he to blame for your body fat also? 4. You and your family are in the medical field yet nobody stepped up to help a family member with oozing open wounds that wont close? Hmmm..Or thought all these procedures might leave you with what you now have as a penis? Talking about going after a doctor for $1752..and wasting your time doing so. But claiming you left your job because you didnt need the money..seems valid lol.

1. It\'s \"you\'re\", not \"your.\" You are bragging about your income, but you can\'t even spell? On top of that, you told me to try to turn straight in another thread. Do you know how ignorant that sounded? Given that, why do you expect me to take anything you say seriously? And I am a bear. It\'s the gay term for a hairy guy. Grr.

2. I\'m not measuring my financial Dick against yours or \"calling you out on your profession.\" You just don\'t come across very intelligent in your posts. It\'s hard to ignore. I really don\'t care what you make, financially. I knew a 23 year old making $170,000 who sold equipment to my hospital who was dumb as hell. Among the other research staff, none of us made what he did - but we are much more interested in knowledge and improving the world. Everyone knows PhDs do not make a lot of money, but we have other priorities (shocking). Nobody is looking at your W-2s on here. And, nobody cares what you make. I have no idea why you\'re so obsessed with my job or salary. (Actually, I do - lower paragraph...it goes along with your anger issues and bar fighting.)3. If you read my posts, you\'d know exactly what I have blamed Dr. C and Wade for and what I have not. My blame placed on Avanti is limited to two things already stated 9 months ago (1. switching Wade for Christian when they promised Wade would be there and 2. not calling me back for weeks after my problems). I have mostly blamed unknown factors such as Peyronie\'s abnormal anatomy, having too much PMMA at once, Linnea safe being stronger than metacrill, or some part of the Linnea Safe product vehicle that reacted badly with my body. And, others have \"blamed them\" equally if not more - if they have problems.

Did I have a problem with the Urologist that had the competency to fix all of this? No. Have I blamed my Urologist for fixing my Peyronie\'s disease, and still having half the curve come back? No. Have I blamed the ENT for taking 2 months to solve a simple problem & finally ending it with an MRI a few weeks ago? No. There are reasonable expectations in medicine, and recurrence of curvature is normal. It also takes a long time & several tests to diagnose and treat some things On the other hand, it is not reasonable to expect that a board certified Dermatologist recommended by my friend of 20 years (who is also a derm) would use the wrong type of Sutures and leave me with an open wound for 2 months. Do you understand there\'s a difference between possible negative effects of a properly performed procedure and physician error? My Dermatologist\'s procedure was physician error, unquestionably - as two doctors said.

I have seen plenty of patients screwed up by so many doctors. It\'s tragic, though I suppose you\'d blame them for seeing too many doctors in an attempt to get healthy. FYI - the reason you \"victim blame\" is because you have serious anxiety issues that you are not willing to confront. So, you find it easier to blame me, because you might be in the same position one day (or may see Dr. C too) - and you are so unwilling to confront the fact that you are petrified of what happened to me (and what you could risk) you then blame me for it, rather than face uncertainty. It just makes the world easier to handle when you can blame people for their own problems because you can\'t face the fact that the world is an unpredictable place.

Interestingly, none of the other (mature adult) posters have done this in the last 9 months. You are the first: Congrats. It\'s not that common because it only exists within people who have unresolved anxiety problems. Your \"anger issues\" and bar fighting are also just a cover up for this anxiety and insecurity (usually due to shame), as is your constant repetition of how much more money you have than me. And, you can\'t empathize with others because you\'re too psychologically damaged to be able to do so. You\'re just used to self-protecting so long (with anger) that you can\'t see how another person might be feeling or get to your deeper issues. You fit the profile of someone with substance abuse issues as well, though maybe you lucked out on that front. Who knows... but your posts have painted an eloquent portrait of your psyche. Telling me to \"look in the mirror\" at what I(?) did (even though my Dermatologist did it...) is a bit odd. However, it sounds like something that someone with underlying shame issues would say. They\'re afraid of the mirror. They can\'t face themselves.

\"Why would you even put that you gained 25 lbs\"

Your grammar really needs help, for someone who is making your high level executive income. Did you mean, \"write that\"? Your writing abilities are at the 8th or 9th grade level. Anyway, I lost 15 lbs so you can calm down, now...I hope.
And, shouldn\'t it be obvious that when people have to go through multiple surgeries, injections, and stitches opening and closing...they cannot work out & sweat in the groin area. It\'s really not that complicated to understand, nor is it complicated that a person might become extremely stressed and depressed while seeing this happen to their Dick. However, you\'ve made it obvious that you have no ability to understand the emotions behind someone else\'s experience...but rather use that experience to attack them when they disagree with you. Nice.4. There is a huge difference between cardiology, hand surgery, endocrinology, and other fields. This is what my family members do (not Urology or derm). I see you wrote \"hmmm\" there after the doctor comment, so I guess on some level you are aware of your ignorance. So, I hope that cleared it up for you. They did try to help & get me in to see doctors - and the Kenalog & 5fu were all from my dad\'s friend in the start. That didn\'t work. That was all he was comfortable doing. I have a friend who is a Dermatologist, so that\'s how I got treated. Then, it went badly. Why would my family members have expertise in wound care or PMMA excision because \"they are doctors\"? That is too specialized. Not to mention, you missed the point again. The point is that doctors work differently than you & your amazing multi-million dollar job. There is a very different code of ethics & conduct that you obviously do not understand (e.g., a person who works in medicine is not going to think the same way as a McDonalds employee or tractor salesman). THAT was my point. Regarding your obsession with my job situation: I do research out of a passion for the field I work in. When the funding shifted (and a variety of other changes happened) - it wasn\'t worth staying around considering I have other money & can go elsewhere later on. Last thing:

.Or thought all these procedures might leave you with what you now have as a penis?

It is not that easy to talk to my father and uncles about my penis or \"what I now have as a penis\" like you put it. Eventually, I did tell my dad that I went to Mexico to get plastic injected into my penis. It was a lovely chat. I highly recommend everyone do that here. How many people have told their parents and uncles? Many never even told their partners. Besides: They don\'t live in the same state, it\'s not their specialty (so they would have no idea what to say), and I haven\'t talked to my uncles in months.

Anyway, if you do get PMMA, I hope they don\'t inject a blood vessel and your penis rots off. Would you enjoy it if everyone here blamed you for that? What damage have you had in your life that makes you such a hostile person who would attack me - who has been through hell (and documented it more than anyone else over 2 years) - while you have 29 posts, contributing basically nothing for 5 months...and clearly don\'t have anywhere near the problems I have experienced?

Can we get back to the issue at hand? Thanks.

By the way, was this PM a few weeks ago just BS? You used my threads more than anyone else to gain insight, and now you\'re talking shit to me worse than anyone on this board in 2 years? And, you hurt your penis in a bar fight and admitted to having \"anger issues\" - so this is all sounding even more insane.

Thanks for your response man I really appreciate it. I hope eventually things brighten up for you. I have used your threads more than anybody elses to gain insight. I\'m very thorough in my approach to PMMA. It blows my mind how quick some ppl just jet down there and fill their Dick up with plastic.

lakingsfan35 wrote: Getting back to the subject at hand...... I don\'t think it\'s unreasonable to ask for a refund, Don\'t know of you will get one, I do know you will never get one if you don\'t ask for it

Exactly... thanks. I may do that, though it will potentially hurt the relationship with my friend there - though she hasn\'t been the greatest friend anyway since she\'s now on kid # 2. I would never see this Dermatologist again, anyway.

Talk about wasting time - yeah that\'s 45 minutes of my life I can\'t get back. Ugh. I can\'t believe I even engaged him.

This has never happened in the 2 years I have been on this board. Pretty pathetic.

JD - with all the money you have - how much have you donated to this board?

Resto, 123,

Disney frozen brothers,

Let it go, let it go.........

No need for a flame war is there?

I appreciate the humor resto. I also remember when you wrote to me \"I can tell people here are growing old of my sob story\"..maybe if you didn\'t bitch so much about so many things. Guys dont want to fuck you, start a thread about it. Feel entitled to your money back from a derm, start a thread about it. Your very weak minded. Self entitled with zero discipline.

My cheeks are sore from smiling. I\'m still cracking up over those Mcdonalds and tractor salesman comments.


Have fun trying to get your money back sweetheart. Maybe you can get him to pay for a gym membership also since hes the reason you got fat!

Here is a friendly moderator warning.
This is the end of this back and forth between the two of you.
Got it?

Thanks for that, briceb. You beat me to it. Defamation of character helps nobody. Wisecracks and insults aside, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Like momma used to say, \"If you don\'t have something nice to say, best not say anything at all.\"

Personal attacks are over.

In two years, nobody has ever written that kind of thing to me on this board. That is why I have contributed all I have from pathology slides to MRIs to a whole essay on Nodule information with the associated treatments. I\'ve taken probably 100 pics and cropped them, lined them up, for each stage of the process...this was for the benefit of the board, particularly given my research / science background. This is one of the best forums I\'ve come across for discussion of a topic like this. Since my problems started, nobody has blamed me for the them (and told me to \"look in the mirror\") & started obsessing over other issues like gaining weight (easy to do when your Dick is in stitches for months - I lost 15 since I could work out again...that damn lack of discipline!) and my salary. Really...this is not the board where that goes on. I\'ve seen it on boards with bitchy queens and 19 year old girls discussing their nose jobs...never here.

If people were concerned that I rushed into things too soon (with Kenalog and 5fu and so on) they said it like a normal person. Hoddle and Skeptical One both told me to wait on certain decisions in my journal - and they wrote it like normal people - not with a lengthy string of bizarre insults. By the way, those posts was done in early April; 3 months before this person even had an account. I know you don\'t want to take a \"side\" - but seriously...where have I been posting for the last 2 years? This is not a board that allows people like this to remain. This is not the environment in which I would have taken the time to make the contributions that I have. I was just called weak minded, self-entitled, and undisciplined... and then he dragged up a thread from the \"Love, Lust, and Vanity\" forum (where many guys discuss sexual insecurities). Nice.

This is the last thing I am saying regarding the last string of insults. It\'s just bizarre that people use words that they can\'t even define. Specifically, someone who spent 6 years getting a PhD does not have \"zero discipline,\" nor are they \"weak minded\" (lacking determination, emotional strength, or intellectual capacity). Finally, getting medical care in the USA from a board certified Dermatologist comes with reasonable expectations. I guess the concept is too confusing for some people. I didn\'t ask for special privileges (\"entitlement\") - but to be treated like any patient with a lesion Removal, paid for in full. Not many are left with 2-month open wounds unless they are late-stage diabetic, bed-ridden, or on chemo.

I\'m done with this thread, and this board, frankly, if he is still here or if the attitude is \"we\'re both at fault\" for that. No. We are not. It\'s 80% / 20% at best.

You make half page long posts, followed by a future edit, which makes them far different from their original. Even erasing some entirely and coming back THE NEXT DAY with a completely different response in its place. Even the latter responses from today are completely different than they were just a few hours ago.


Say what you mean, mean what you say. No need to re-write something three times over.

I\'ve nothing against either of you, less your inability to collaborate effectively. I\'m not here to choose sides. I am here to keep the peace. As this thread was initiated by Restoration, I\'m asking jd123 not to post here again. I\'m done with the bickering.

@Restoration
No further mention of jd123.

@jd123
Leave this thread.

This is your LAST warning. Please, calm down and move forward.