TOPIC: My uro wants me to see a sex therapist

So... he won\'t do any more surgery to remove any nodules. He gave me the numbers of 2 sex therapists because he thinks it\'s all in my head...or that I am magnifying the problem beyond its reality. I don\'t really get it... is this in my head? I think I have had the worst outcome on this board. That\'s not in my head. The issue of being miserable about it is something I can discus with a therapist, but I\'d rather fix it - not \"learn how to accept it\" for $200 an hour. These female therapists and hetero urologists have NO idea how important a Dick is in the gay world. Hideous monsters with huge dicks get laid by hot guys... simply due to their dicks.

This is my normal Erection and my viagra Erection.



This is Flaccid. He thinks only the Erect state matters.




I\'d rather spend the money going back to Dr. C than to a sex therapist. Yeah, i\'m a little crazy now but I\'ve been through insane shit with Peyronies and non-healing wounds, etc...for five years now. That just hasn\'t happened to anyone - and nobody would remain perfectly stoic through all of that. This was a real nightmare of a situation. I don\'t think it was in my head. If my derm didn\'t leave me with an open wound, he could\'ve taken the other lumps out and I would be done with it.

I think it\'s just an issue where he\'s sick of dealing with it and wants to pawn me off as a psych patient. I already have a psychologist and psychiatrist. I know what my psychological issues are, but this is a real thing...right? Maybe I acted too fast or obsessed a little too much, but the nodules I didn\'t act on are all still there and it\'s not pretty.

I empathize with you though we have very different histories and lifestyles. Mainly, I fully agree that many people dismiss and discount the importance, to a man, of a well sized, aesthetic, perfectly functioning penis, just for his own contentment. I have lived my whole life with erectile dysfunction, and have always been told, coldly and off handedly, that it\'s all in my head, who cares, that sucks, etc. On the one hand, as a man you are expected to have a glorious, perfectly functioning, mighty member, but if you don\'t, stop worrying about it crybaby, there are bigger problems in the world, it\'s just a psychological issue, get therapy, and so on.

You have real physical problems and I, given my experience, would never deny that reality to you. Yes, there are things we can do to improve our mental habits and our outlook. I think we should always be working on that aspect. Nevertheless, I just don\'t understand why the penis is culturally treated the way it is, as though it isn\'t even a physical object, subject to the same laws of physics and chemistry and biology as every other organ and body part. If you start having problems with your , people don\'t patronize you and tell you to get therapy. Good luck getting anyone to take you seriously if you have a problem with your penis. I have no real advice, but I\'m only saying I understand and I don\'t think you\'re crazy. You\'ve been dealt a bad hand and there just isn\'t as much help as there should be for issues like this.

One final note, I get how especially important penis is in the gay world, but let me also tell you, it\'s real fucking important in the straight world too. People sometimes still act like women are these purely emotional, spiritual creatures who only have sex to connect their hearts to another man. This is not even close. Women are crass, selfish, and objectifying just like men, maybe even worse in some ways. They expect hard dicks and great performances, and mock and cheat on those who don\'t measure up. Not all people are this way, but you will encounter this attitude in the straight world. Even decent women, though they won\'t be harsh about it, are still going to be disappointed if your sexual performance isn\'t up to par. Sorry I\'m ranting now, not trying to take the focus off your problems, just adding support to your basic sentiment. It\'s tough out there.

If dr c wont see maybe u can check out another dr.

Moderator Edit

Obviously I don\'t know the real extent of the issue just from pics, but I don\'t think it\'s in your head at all.

I also don\'t think it looks that bad in the top 2 pictures, the main issue seems to be the large lump on the lower left-hand side.

Have you thought about the deglove and partial excision/ shaving off the protruding part of the lump. If you did that, again only visually, it would look pretty natural. That seems to be the last resort but you\'ve done everything else from what I\'ve read.

btw can you update on how the DMSO worked out, I know you said it softened some areas and appeared to have an effect, but was it ultimately not effective?

Thanks notwhatitusedtobe, that was really well put.

Yeah that\'s exactly what I asked my uro (to bisect that lump in half) and he\'s the only one I trust to do this after what other docs did to me. He said he won\'t do it though and I\'m to obsessed with this. He also sees patients with cancer regularly so to him, it probably does seem overboard. Dr. C is looking at my pics and thinking of options. He will get back to me later. He was very nice about it even though it didn\'t go so well toward the end there. Also I don\'t know with my schedule and budget how much more I could go back there.

James, the dmso softened it - but when I stopped it got harder again... so I am gonna try again I think. The other thing is that the PMMA-related collagen might be a lot more tough to soften than hardened fat. Just a thought...I\'ll try more with it - it\'s just kind of time consuming with the cleaning & applying everything very clean, etc...

I had what a nurse working in a plastic surgeons office described as \"the worst keloid scar\" she had ever seen, in my pubic area. I also had pubic hair half way up the shaft, where the huge V/Y scar flap caused for my penis to drop into the scrotal area. To top it all off, I had a lumpy, soft shaft from FFT and no fat stayed at the base, so it looked and felt like a lumpy lollipop. Basically it barely resembled a penis. At the time I was a 19 year old kid, there was no internet back then (well of course there was, but no forums or PE discussion) and I just didn\'t know where to turn. I felt utterly helpless and really felt as if my life might as well be over. In desperation I went to see my GP and he advised a see therapist as I needed to stop worrying about what my penis looked like!

It seems crazy now, but I actually did it. I went to see a psychiatrist for 6 months and I had to pay for it myself. It was the biggest waste of time and money. I\'ve since come to slightly resent the whole profession and think it\'s bit of a scam in my opinion. I\'ve known and followed loads of people who have been in therapy and it\'s the medication that helps. The therapy is pretty useless in my opinion. Yet it gets recommended by other medical professionals all the time, as if it\'s success rate is comparable to drug treatments or surgical interventions.

Yeah, I basically agree with you Hoddle... I think it could be a huge waste of time. At least, it\'s free until the end of the year when my insurance resets. I can just see how it goes. I doubt I am going to suddenly \"accept\" something that is just not ok. I can see, from a uro\'s point of view - who treats more serious issues day-to-day, that I might have come across more obsessive than the average patient. But, he never recommended a sex therapist with patients who had peyronie\'s - and he did my surgery on that. In fact, he admitted the research on peyronie\'s shows that over half of patients with it experience clinical depression, and nearly 75% if they are under 50. But, A lumpy penis filled with PMMA = therapist time? In some ways, this is worse than the curve of peyronies disease (though the increased size helps). I wonder if it\'s just the combo of Tijuana and doing what he told me not to do and other things that led to that. I already know all the cognitive behavioral exercises they are going to go through.

I am getting off most of the medication I was prescribed during the hellish phase from march - September. It just has to be tapered off. It barely worked in my experience, anyway. SNRIs barely do anything. I am kind of shocked how many billions of dollars drug companies make off them. The doctor\'s answer is just to increase the dose - but then I\'m even more of a zombie with side effects & a messed up Dick.

I know you said that your Urologist in the only 1 you would trust, but maybe consider talking to the doctor in Austin who did Darkstaff\'s Removal. I know if I ever consider Removal down the road he\'s the first one I\'m reaching out to.

As a side - do you remember your post from early after R3 where you said you felt \"cords\" in the PMMA. Were these FGB\'s that were removed, are they still there, have they dissipated at all if they weren\'t removed. Is there any info you found out about them?

uro is waiting for you..

Good therapists are few and far. I had \"anger issues\" as a young kid. My elementary school said If I wanted to attend, I had to do mandatory meetings with a therapist twice per week. Even as a little kid, I remember thinking they were way out there. I liked to wrestle and ride my bike. Not sit in a boring classroom all day. My original therapist was fired for misconduct and the replacement resigned after her son (who was gay in a very unfriendly environment) committed suicide.

I know this sounds odd but have you ever considered dating women at all? Women are vain, but also arent penis inspectors. You could easily tell women some story about how you were attacked by a dog as a kid, in a car crash, etc..long as you can get that bad-boy rock hard, chicks wont think twice about it.

I know this sounds odd but have you ever considered dating women at all?

no... i\'m just playing for one team. It would be like asking any straight guy here if they considered dating men. I get along w/ women better than most men, but that happens all the time with gay guys. There\'s never going to be sex happening.

Gay guys aren\'t as obsessed with aesthetics as they are with size, I have learned. They don\'t notice lumps or scars on a penis that is above average.

Well shit man whats the problem then? Your Dick isnt small. Odd looking because of the procedures, but far from small.

Sounds like every gay dude is out searching for the 1% or less of other gay guys that are rocking 9 Inch girthy monsters. Huge cocks are not common. From previously being in the military and showering with over 60 guys at a time for months on end, there was only 1 really huge guy. 5-6 that were decent but nothing like his.

Obviously your nor I, or anybody on this site will ever be that one guy. At least not naturally and still nobody on this site I\'ve seen comes close to him (besides after many Girth procedures) and still his length was far greater.

I think a lot of it is in your head man. You\'ve been down a very long, dark road. At this point, its like...just go with it. There almost nothing you can do to fix your Dick that will make it really want you want. You\'ll never be that 9 incher you so badly want to be. Long as you can get rock solid erections, just give it hell and go fuck some dudes.

I don\'t have any size insecurities. Obviously I don\'t like the fact I have lumps and scars on my penis.

Regardless, like I have posted before... this represents 70% of interactions with gay men with regard to their obsession with Dick size.


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My Urologist wanted me to see a sex therapist because I was complaining about the nodules and wanting the rest removed and he got fed up with it because he deals with more serious issues. He simply does not understand that this dynamic exists between (some) gay men. (Or most).

You\'ll never be that 9 incher you so badly want to be.

I\'m confused why you think I said that. I\'ve never said that. Dating back to 2013, I was saying 6-7 BPEL was my size and roughly where I am happy with if I could get there with traction.

Sounds like every gay dude is out searching for the 1% or less of other gay guys that are rocking 9 Inch girthy monsters.

Now, THAT is what I said... and what is true. It\'s also true of looks. Even fugly gay men want the top 1% attractive guys. It\'s just the social dynamic. They will be single and whine about it endlessly rather than \"compromise\" and date someone who isn\'t hung like a horse or looks like brad pitt (when he was younger).

Of course, I am generalizing - but that\'s the general pattern.

There almost nothing you can do to fix your Dick that will make it really want you want.

Well, the 1.5 ccs of Radiesse I had helped a lot, and you can see pictures in my journal. I don\'t know how much of that will stay, but it was a drastic improvement at the time of injection. That is all I want (for things to be evened out)...and if it stays, then that\'s what I got. There\'s nothing I can do about the scars, so you\'re right about that - though they fade with time on the penis in particular.

This isn\'t as big of a deal as it was in the last 7 months. It IS finally getting better... but the from March to September - i was in hell basically...and I had no idea when it would end.

I know this is a bit off topic, but I always thought anal is a no no once you\'ve gotten the procedure. So I\'m actually fascinated that everything is fine with you. I suppose Anal is different with women.

No it\'s fine. The only issue is the condom fit is more complicated due to the taper and some lumps.

I\'m pretty sure guys on here still have anal with women after PMMA. Maybe not in the first month, but eventually.

All you really need is:



Oh also I don\'t do it a lot. Before PMMA, I rarely ever did it because my Dick was a pencil...now guys want me to do it.