TOPIC: The start of my journey pre pmma, lakingsfan35

Ok, I figure it\'s now or never. My wife is in inpatient treatment for her eating disorder (bulimia ) she went in last Tuesday. This is her 3rd time in 3 years, she told me yesterday that she will be there 90 to 180 days. That being said i have a lot of time to strengthen my penis without any interruptions or questions.

I ordered the Kaplan pump and esl40 yesterday. Both to arrive today. It was tough to get a real good Erection with everything on my mind but i got some pics with a ruler and tape. I also am including the only other pics (non measured pics) I have of my penis from last week. One Erect one flacid.

flegmid 4.25
Nbpfl 4.25
egmid 5.8
BPEL 6.0

the ruler has about 1/8 Inch before the measurement starts. The other day i measured a good eq and i was BPEL 6.25 today I would say eq was maybe 70- 80%.
i am shootimg for a 90 day goal of .25 el and .25 el. I hope that is a reasonable and obtainable goal and im not setting myself up for failure.

I will post update and pics every 30 days for sure.

Good luck

You\'re very thick, so I definitely don\'t think you should get PMMA. Stretching is really variable from person to person. Your goal is kinda aggressive, but you do gain the most length at the start of this kind of program - in my experience, at least. If you don\'t continue to use it after the initial gains, it tends to go back, though. I\'m not sure if \"newbie gains\" are just like a matter of the tissue being stretched or true growth (mitosis of cells). Other posters know more about stretching, but I\'ve been doing it for many years & that\'s kinda the general idea I\'ve gotten from my experience and reading different boards. PEGym also has more advice on all this.

Im mainly looking for Girth. I was not wanting to set myself up for disappointment if I dont gain .25 in Girth. I didnt want to put into my head unrealistic or unobtainable gians. Maybe that will be my 6 month goal. Ive been lurking for a while in a couple of different forums and based on other peoples claims its doable......
i think it would be a great suprise for my wife to come home to.....

You\'ve got a really good sized penis. Personally I don\'t think you should do anything.

Also, given what you\'ve disclosed about your wife, wouldn\'t she be an ideal person to discuss this with? I\'d imagine a bulimia sufferer would very easily be able to empathize with you.

U could just wear a silicone Cock ring theres lots of different sizes that will give u an instant .25 Inch in circumfrence.

H10,
I wish it were that easy. We are both recovering from addiction/alcohalism. We were both molested very young. I ran towards sex and she shys away. We truely love each other in every sense she is my best friend.

We have been together a very long time, we started dating in early 93 and in 95 we split apart in December. During the split i had 2 kids with another woman and she got married in august 98 to a guy she broke up with me for. He is mr tree trunk. 8 Inch long and thicker than I.

My now wife bumped into me at my shop (auto Repair) in October 98. We spent the night in a hotel talking and catching up about the past 3 years, most of that time was buck nekked in a jacuzzi tub. She left her husband the next day and we have been together since.

Everything to this point sounds honky dory but one night we were drinking some wine and we started talking about sex and exes and it came out that 2 of her exes were huge, and i mean huge. She say she measured them with a wooden ruler and a tape measure. One was over 9 and thin (tie it in a knot) and one was 8 and real thick (tree trunk) yes those are the nick names she gave their tools.

I\'m nowhere near those numbers. When we were messin round one day i accidentally slipped in a very small pink vibe in her with me and she came so hard it was incredible. She is a bit roomy and always has been since day 1 back in 93. Our sex life has declined steadily over the years. Some of it is her depression meds but i just honestly think i cant rock her world like she has had in the past . Every time we use a vibrator on her, its the only way to get ger to orgasm unless I am using fingers real slowly in and out.

She tells me all the time im just right for her and im the \"perfect size\" but if she knew what i do to her with my fingers to make her orgasm 3 sometimes 4 fingers and when she is really excited 4 and my thumb. Sometimes she asks and i tell her 2 or 3 fingers, not 3, 4 somerimes 4 and a thumb. I need a tool like m8 or size or one of you \"big tool guys here\". Im very gentle and never force anything \"inside\" its not like i can fist her but it would probably be close.

How the hell can i be perfect when she climbs the walls when she orgasms with my fingers in her and not with my unit?

Then there is my issue with being a late bloomer, plus my molester was rather large so I have insecurities about my size. I know what the \"average is\" and i am supposedly above it slightly when i have good wood.

i dont want to be \"porn star\" dimensions rather be secure in my own skin knowing i have a stick not a twig.

I have more notches in my belt than i care to admit to from my past experience with bar flys, coke whores, bitches and ex girlfriends from my party decade, sadly enough a decade of self destructive behavior.

Some of those emotional scars remain and some of the insecurities are still there too. I would like to be able to give my wife a big o with just my tool and have it be enough.

what i dont get is when i see pics here of guys im numerically larger than, but why do i see it as they are bigger than i. Is it just dysmorphia talking or what? Is my idea i have of my own unit that low?

I need a I would like to be able to give my wife a big o with just my tool and have it be enough. what i dont get is when i see pics here of guys im numerically larger than, but why do i see it as they are bigger than i. Is it just dysmorphia talking or what? Is my idea i have of my own unit that low?

most of us here may have Dick dysmorphia

Some women cant climax by Dick alone. Every woman is different. Personally, I\'ll do what ever it takes to make my woman orgasm as long as we are happy in the act together.

Never try to compete with an \"Ex\" as you will never win. It is all in a man\'s head. Most women do not look at these issues as men do. I try to see and understand how the woman look at these things and then I can cope more with what\'s at hand.....

Hi Lakingsfan35: That was a really well written and thoughtful intro. Good luck on your journey. Whatever you decide please keep us informed. Take care, CPW

I so appreciate the support, comments, advice and compliments in forum and in pm I have received from you guys. Thank you for your thoughtful consideration, trust me, as I am considering thoughtfully everything that was said to me.

I was suprised by a few members that said they would do nothing if they had my penis, and that confuses the hell out of me because I see myself as inadequate. One said I was huge in his eyes and to go look at his pics. I told him i had already seen his pics and even though we are close in size,( I am slightly larger el and eg maybe .25 in) to me he looked bigger than I. Oddly enough i looked at my morning wood in my bathroom mirror and from that perspective it looked much larger than from when I look straight down at it.

My point is perspective is everything and you guys have a perspective that doesn\'t involve my own personal insecurities or my brain.....

thats a lot to consider......

lakingsfan35 wrote: I was suprised by a few members that said they would do nothing if they had my penis, and that confuses the hell out of me because I see myself as inadequate..

I think it\'s because those members, myself included, are more risk averse. These procedures are so damn risky, that in my opinion, the only people that should be considering them are those that are really small and whose lives are terribly impacted by it. Whilst you feel inadequate and are unhappy, you have still got an extensive sexual history and you are married, so it\'s not as if your feelings of inadequacy have mentally crippled you to the point where you struggling to function \"normally\" as a person. There are plenty of guys who are so badly impacted by the size of their penis, that they don\'t have relationships etc and the idea of having a penis your size would be a dream come true for them. So these guys will naturally say they\'d do nothing if they were you. If I had a Girth your size I\'d cherish it. I\'d never risk damaging that penis.

10,
While I agree with you, some of what you way is true but some isn\'t as it may appear. Lots of my past sexual conquests were simply coke whores who were willing to suck and fuck for a fix. I agree I had what they wanted and that was cocaine not my penis.

I was so messed up in my head from age 13 to around 38 or so from being molested. I screwed anything i could bang 18 to 80, deaf dumb or blind. I didnt care as long as it was female. I needed to prove to myself i was a victim and i was not gay, i was accosted repeatedly for 3 long torturous years. I finally hurt so much I stole a handgun and at gunpoint I told the man if you ever touch me again I will kill you. I was dead serious too. To this day if any man lays a hand on me or my family he is a goner.

That is what started me on my downward spiral. I was out of control during the late 80\'s and early 90\'s. I overdosed on 3/3/93. I have been clean drug wise since then. I still drank and smoked until 2004 i\'ve been abstinent since our wedding in 2004.

I was never big enough, good looking enough or had enough personality to get chicks on my own. I had flash money, cars, partys and dope. Plenty of dope and dope made money. Without it I was nothing in my mind at least.

Heck the first week i spent with my wife was spent at her pad smokin weed all week and watching movies. But she was different. She liked me for me. I met her thru a friend. We never did dope ( i didnt consider weed dope...) together for I was done with that by then, but I smoked like Cheech Marin. I used to joke with her about my 37 hookers and whores that were calling, i was still slinging the rock but not using it.

When she broke up with me in 95 it broke my . I was so depressed. I knew it was too good to last. I walked away from that lifestyle. I started an auto shop and worked for a living. I was hooking up thru my female clients for I had become addicted to sex. So instead of coke whores i now fixed cars for sex at times. A quick bj here or nooner there in my office to satisfy the bill. I tell ya i was still a sick puppy man.

I didnt function well as someone normal would. Some of that is from the addiction and some from the insecurities. All of my past stemed from not properly dealing with being molested. I get that. I finally got help for that and started dealing with the \"isms as in alcohalism ect.\"

So has my sexual disfunction effected my life, absolutely, but so has addiction.

Yes I am married with a large sexual past. Yes I have a gorgeous wife with an amazing rack 38 HH all home grown too, i am so damn lucky, yes i have 4 healthy children. I agree with all of this.

yes some of you think my penis is a nice one and it probably is. I would just like it to be a bit more thicker, would that solve all of my issues? Sadly, probably not

am I Crazy? Or am i just preoccupied with the size of my unit?

I never said I was sane....

While I have a mostly good life and function somewhat normally now, I still have some demons I face daily too, and my small penis ( in my eyes) is one of those demons.

I dont share for pitty or empathy but more importantly its the mindset behind the issues and how deep rooted they can be and how things are compounded.

I agree with one thing fully. I do cherish my guy and he is pretty asthetically, in shape and all. Thats my major draw back. I dont want to be disfigured then i would be franken dick and doubly fucked....

thats a major part of my issues. I think im small but it is a pretty penis.i dont want to be bigger at the cost of asthetics.

If you feel that you need to gain size, you are in a good position that your glans size will look appropriate with a modest increase.

But the thing about PMMA is that there are no guarantees on outcome. Some guys come out without a single issue aesthetically or otherwise. Some are not that lucky. If you do end up with slight irregularities they can usually be addressed with a touch up session. All guys should go into this expecting a touch up round. If it turns out not to be needed, great! But every guy should be prepared for this going in.

Also, if it is stuck in your mind that you are small, having an enlargement procedure is not likely to make that thought go away on its own.

This is a big decision and one that you want to take on only after you are confident in your decision.

PMMA will be a lose - lose proposition. If the surgery has a bad outcome you are f##ked. If it goes well you as Brice mentioned you will transfer your inadequacy to a new part of your body or similiar. You have a good grasp of your issues, however I would caution you that most people here do not fit in that category. Sadly the self hatred here runs very deep and many think a larger penis will squelch the pain but the relief is temporary. You are on the right path but I would suggest a local support group for people in your situation like adult survivors of sexual abuse (RAINN) Best of luck

Really, anything can become a demon. I think that it is great that you are self aware about these issues. I don\'t think that means that you can\'t experiment with the pump or explore enlargement. It just means that you are going to have to be acutely aware of your responses. And you are right, it is an incredible feeling when you see your penis larger. And the size increase, potential for more, can become addictive.