dared3vil wrote:
Skeptical_One wrote:
dared3vil wrote: So, one of my major issues and I do know it's a me issue is whether subconsciously or not, I have a hard time letting go when I feel wronged by a partner... I've held grudges for years, and ended relationships after the realization that I'd never let something go.
Even if I don't think about the events I deemed as a wrongdoing on a regular basis, often the recurring theme is I'll think about it during the most inopportune time. Often, right in the middle of sexual intercourse. This often results in me going from a solid Erection to a very Flaccid state in a blink of an eye.
Recently, my wife and I had an argument. During this argument she inadvertently let me know that if we didn't have children together she would be with someone in her past that she considered better for her. She definitely didn't realized what she said at the time but apologized later, unfortunately I know this is one of those things I'm going to have a very difficult time letting go.
Not really sure where I'm going to go from here... guess we'll see where this fork in the road takes me.
What she said was inappropriate and not defensible. That said, I suspect her willingness to say it wasn't about "I want to cheat on you with a previous lover," and more like "I really want a damn baby." Unlike men, women don't have the luxury of waiting indefinitely. That said, I'm a bit surprised you got married without having discussed the topic of kids, but I don't know all the details.
I'd recommend figuring out this "having a kid" thing first, it'll probably give you a good idea in which direction things are going. Oh and, please don't have a baby to save a marriage - never a good idea. Both partners should be on board.
Sorry, I could have worded it a little more clearly. We share two children and she meant had we not had them, she would be with this previous partner.
You need to go down the "red pill" rabbit hole. It will change everything for you. YOU are the prize, not her. You need to lead and be the man that she needs in her life, then you won't have to deal with that. If you believe in your mission, and yourself, she will want to co-pilot and come along for the ride. Don't worry about what she said, look at what she does. Her saying that she wants to be with some other guy, is her saying "lead me, be the man I want to be with"
If my wife said that, I would just laugh at her. One of my favorite lines when she is being a brat, is to basically let her finish then say "no, no no.. that's all wrong. CUT! ok, now lets try it again, a little less anger this time, and lets do it topless. ACTION!" then slap her on the ass and walk away.
You can thank me later
