TOPIC: Calling all swingers

I've noticed a fair amount of swingers on this forum. I'd love to hear your experience as to how you got into the lifestyle, how you talked your significant other into it , etc.

It would be a goal of mine but I can't ever see my wife agreeing to it. Any advice?

Please chime in on your personal stories and how i should approach this.

I am out of the swing life now, but it's easy to find at swingers.com

It is the most natural thing in the world. To everyones surprise there is no jealousy. Actually the opposite. If you love someone you want to see them happy, you want to make them happy. And seeing you SO fulfil her fantasies makes you happy and strengthens the bond between you. On top of that you see your girl as a sexual being, it gives you the desire you had when you first met and had sex. We have lots of friends who are in the lifestyle and they all say that they cannot open up and tell other friends what they do, because most of people in long marrieges have bad, or non-existant sex life.
Usually the guy brings it up and has to talk his wife. After some time, roles switch and most parties are organized by wives.
There is variety of events, parties for any taste. Personally we like private parties the most. 20-30 people, private villa or penthouse. We usually know half of people and the rest are friends of friends. This is the best way to start also, because not everyone has sex, you can go around, have sex with each other while you watch and chat with the rest. No one will force him/herself on you.
And that should be your sales pitch. No pressure to jump in. We have sex with 1 out of 10 couples we meet and talk.
best site for this is SDC. Pay your subscription, upload some pics, get started.

Dance With Dragons wrote: The reality is there is a rather high probability that at some point, another very large man, or several large men, may fuck your significant other to the point where she screams louder and more enthusiastically than she has ever, or ever will, with you. If you aren't 100% cool with that, way way way deep down, stay the fuck away.

I have seen my wife with many men larger and frankly better in bed than me.. yes she made different noises each time. This is where the concept of TRUST... NOT OWNING another person comes into play. Image being i a relationship with another person where both are dedicated to each other yet you can each be who you want to be free of judgement, free of jealousy ... freedom...

My wife can enjoy other men some more than me.. but she does not love them.. it is just sex. It is just adult play. I have been with other women that I frankly enjoyed more than my wife.. but not for a minute do I love my wife any less NOR do I want to leave my wife.

Separate sex from deeper feelings for another person.

The reality is there is a rather high probability that at some point, another very large man, or several large men, may fuck your significant other to the point where she screams louder and more enthusiastically than she has ever, or ever will, with you. If you aren't 100% cool with that, way way way deep down, stay the fuck away.

Dance With Dragons wrote:
Full disclosure, I don't know if most people are crazy enough to deal with this sort of thing in their life. Be sure you can handle the emotional consequences. I've wrecked a marriage and gone damn near out of my mind along the way to where I am now.

Hella fun though, wouldn't change a thing.

Carpe Noctis!

Care to elaborate ? You've really got me intrigued. I'm 100% I can handle it bc I've been outside my marriage and my wife knows about it. She on the other hand has been / and comes from a more traditional religious upbringing. I think cwinters is spot on and the liberation that has come with just expressing my desires has already taken us to another level. But I guess where fantasy and reality meet one has to be prepared for the potential consequences.

Kasidie.com is a great site to find other couples to swing with. There are others, and I would highly recommend looking up the nearest swingers club.

I realized a while back that holding absolutely nothing back from my sexual partners, just saying every single word or idea that comes to my mind, tends to turn them on quite a bit. I have gotten into some unbelievable scenarios just by talking shit and being open and honest all the time.

The local Bdsm club can also be a really fun place to get into trouble, although that's a whole other brand.

Full disclosure, I don't know if most people are crazy enough to deal with this sort of thing in their life. Be sure you can handle the emotional consequences. I've wrecked a marriage and gone damn near out of my mind along the way to where I am now.

Hella fun though, wouldn't change a thing.

Carpe Noctis!

I've talked with my wife and shared fantasies with her and - shockingly - she is on board. Her main question is 'what do we do? How do we find people?' I told her my fantasies during sex and it was crazy how turned on she became.

If cwinters or dance with dragons could pm with wisdom it would be greatly appreciated.

Cwinter is wise in the ways of good relationships. I also have a pretty big fake Dick these days, which I'm sure helps the situation. Dr C and Wade are my hero's, years and years later. Thanks guys!

Once of the BEST personal growth experiences for a marriage IF both partners are willing to work on the following emotions:

* Jealousy = if you can truly watch your partner enjoy themselves with another and feel joy for them.. then you have eliminated one of the most useless human emotion (in my opinion). A relationship without jealousy allows room MORE trust and zero ownership for another person.
* Trust = We all know it is corner stone of any good relationship. In my opinion, swinger life 1000% trust of the other person is required to make this work..
* Ownership= We don\'t another persons feelings and desires... Rather when you create a safe environment where your significant other can for the first time in life explore their inner sexual desires without guilt, shame, or fear then you will become so close with that person and yourself that it is like whole new level of love and deep bonding with another human.

It is a journey that both partners must agree it cannot be one more than the other. The road blocks can almost always be found in one of the 3 areas.. jealousy, trust, and/or ownership. Frankly, most humans are incapable. This journey is very little to do with sex... and everything to do with deep personal growth.

I'm a swinger, and it's awesome.

If you fear something, you'll see it everywhere, haunting you around every corner. If you seek it out, it suddenly becomes hard to find.

Try looking for giant cocks to share with your gf, especially if your gf is young and extremely attractive. They are shockingly hard to find.

Swinging is the best way to learn to be a grown up in relationships.

Well it's a two way street . And seeing her with another woman or us fucking one another while others are in the room is a huge turn on. I'm completely at ease w/ her being fucked by someone else as long as there is a connection with the other couplLe.

I imagine a couple's relationship would have to be very strong to experiment with something like that. I wouldn't be able to handle seeing my girlfriend getting more pleasure from another guy. It would drive me nuts....

I can\'t speak from any experience in this arena but I am surprised at the number of guys here who are swingers. I guess it\'s more prevalent than I thought.

Got into this scene and had some great experiences. If you have a rock solid relationship and confidence it will take your relationship and sex life to new highs. If you're a new couple - I would tread lightly. No turning back for us - we love it