I can understand how you feel. I was there and that pain in your chest and gut is unbearable and you\'d do anything to make it go away even by begging. I learned it doesn\'t work. The best thing you could do right now is go NO CONTACT for no less than 30 days. It sounds silly but it definitely helps. Its used as a tactic to make them wonder about you. But in reality this is the time that you use to work on yourself. So wether you get her back or not after those 30 days you\'d be a better person for it and less needy. Trust me its hard as fuck but it works. Hope you feel better.
BTW, were you guys speaking this all in english or you translated for us? Just curious because i saw that this took place in Tokyo.
Thanks so much for your support and advice; it really is helping me get through this ordeal.
I left out some important info that I thought would help shed more light on the situation.
Firstly, how we met....
I put an ad online (I\'m currently living and working in Tokyo) looking for a \'causal relationship\' with a woman from 27 to 40. My headline was that I was \"very well endowed\". I kind of did it as a goof to see what kind of responses I would get. It couldn\'t have hurt because the previous two ads I had posted got basically no response at all.
When my ex-girlfriend initially responded, she told me she was 26 years old, Korean, and looking for just a causal relationship too. We exchanged several emails and really hit it off. We finally met after about two weeks or so....When I first saw her, I could easily see she was younger than 26. After some chit chat (a few hours) in a coffee shop, she finally told me she was 22....and Chinese. I have no idea to this day why she lied about her nationality.
She was super hot though....and I couldn\'t resist, so I did what I usually do in situations in which I am presented info that complicates things and threatens to let logic triumph over my carnal urges...I ignored it all.
When I finally got her back to my room and we started to kiss, I could see that she had very little kissing experience. It was almost as if she were imitating what she saw in a romantic movie. It reminded me of how I was when I started to kiss for the first time....I actually starting teaching her how to do it. She then confessed she was a virgin.
\"Holy crap\"! I couldn\'t believe it. She was smoking hot...and a virgin!
I told her that I would take it slow....
I asked point blank why she would respond to an ad on the Internet by a guy who was claiming to be \"very well endowed\". She then said \"Everybody knows bigger dicks feel better...I want my first time to be a special one.\"
When I showed her my penis, she was unfazed. This surprised me because other women I have slept with always showed surprise (at least).
Not this girl though; maybe too much internet porn?
We did a lot of foreplay...I could tell she was truly a virgin...A very horny one though. Then she looked in my eyes and said \"I want you inside me....Stick it in!\". I used a generous amount of lubrication a it over my penis...And then to use her choice of \'vernacular\'...\"stuck it in\" ever so gently
It took a while, but it was going in and she seemed to be enjoying it. She suddenly then asked me to \"stop\". \"Oh, it hurts!\" We stopped immediately and that was it for the evening. There was no blood ( no broken hymen) and afterward she seemed happy with the experience....She was no longer a virgin.
I kinda figured it was just a \"hook up\" and didn\'t too much effort into seeing her again....Two weeks later though (after she pursued me) we \"hooked up\" for some more sex. This time we were able to make love (intercourse) for about 10 minutes, and I was able to make her cum (with my penis) ....It was great and she seemed very happy. That night she slept over, and the next morning I tried to make love to her again. We tried, at first, but when I tried to put it in a little deeper, she screamed in pain. We stopped immediately and just cuddled for the rest of the morning.
I really thought nothing of the sharp pain she felt and figured it was just part of the process of her body getting used to sex. A few days later though, I received a text from her saying that she was looking at her vagina with a mirror, and there was a \"wound\" in it. I told her to go to the hospital immediately...and she did. It turns out that there was a small tear and it needed to be stitched up. I was shocked and felt horrible....I never imagined she was really in pain...And that injury meant that we would have to wait 4 weeks before we had anymore sex. During that time, we started to hang out a lot (she was cool...and she thought I was too)....
After the four week wait , the sex became increasingly good. She was able to cum every time, but unfortunately, after she came, the sex would cease because she would \"no longer be into it\". She would completely lose interest (just like a guy does when he cums). I would have to wait until the following morning to get off....And more often than not, it wouldn\'t be through intercourse...She told me that sex was great but if we went too long it would be \"overwhelming\".
Over the ensuing months, sex became good...We always needed lubrication but we were able to do it easily and she always seemed satisfied.
Anyway, I don\'t really know how this info is so relevant, but it feels so good to share this with you guys...when I grieve I find that writing and sharing really does help the healing process.
to add to DWD, she will be fantasizing about your Cock in no time. she will never find a guy even close to your size again, her loss. (don\'t be surprised if she hits you up a few months from now wanting a dose of you Cock again after realizing she won\'t get it again unless its with you)
When she pulled back from you when you went in for a kiss just go for it again and say we can\'t be friends give me a kiss we are to good together,I would keep pursing her she wants to be the dominant person in the relationship for now ok but you can always turn the tide later on.
She mentions other guys are good looking,she\'s trying to offend insult in women\'s crazy ways my response would be \"but do they have a massive Dick like me\" and give her a wink.
Have no shame say what you think but don\'t get lovey and desperate or she will think your a beta
After reading this I noticed that she never says that she doesn\'t want to be with you or end the relationship. She says that she is giving you the space you asked for, feels like you don\'t want her sexually or is accepting that you can\'t be friends after you told her that, which is aggressive considering she knows how hurt you are, but it sounds like you hurt her feelings too. Give her space so she can miss you a bit and see if she calls you back; and when she does stop playing games and be cool with her. The \"psychology\" stuff never works - I bet it is not over. At least it doesn\'t sound that way to me.
I went through something very similar many years ago. She was pursuing me first and then the power dynamics tipped and it is was then me pursuing her. It ended in total disaster.
For what it is worth, and based only on the necessarily limited information you have shared, here is what I think: the hurtful remarks she has made (the puppy, etc.) strongly suggest that she has radically changed emotionally and that the probability of rescuing the relationship is -de facto- zero. I think that you need to let sink in the knowledge of inescapable pain and depression which will affect you for some time but not for ever. In these circumstances, it is better to immediately surrender to the psychological damage (which will slowly but surely heal eventually) than to oppose futile resistance. If you are hit by a car, you are hit by a car: do not try to immediately stand up, just lie down for a while.
In the non-completely unlikely scenario where analogies could be drawn between my and your experience, the following question makes sense: Why are you now so determined that you want her back? Now that she is leaving you, you are thinking that you have blown a relationship with a unique person. But, perhaps, she is not unique. In fact, you might have problems and issues of your own which are not related to the relationship, (concerns, stress, etc) and, as sometimes happens, this woman quits exactly at a point in time when you are weak and in need of company, support, etc. So, you go after her because of your existential condition, not because of who she is.
Or, the analogy above is totally wrong and does not apply to your case. But it is worthwhile to think about it, in case the real problem is not her but something else.
it might be a good idea to cool things off for a few months to see whether it was just a temporary fall out or whether there was a genuine reason (somebody else, loosing interest...). From what you wrote she is either looking for an excuse for a break up or she is unsure about possible future with you. Only time will tell.
Brother if you noticed that this woman was down to earth and cool to hang with. There was no need to play games. Because as you know. Women can play games right back and sometimes they\'re better at it than us. A good love doesn\'t happen twice in a lifetime. If you feel you had that with her than don\'t let her go.
Hang in there big guy!You should try your best to stay away from her (difficult I know)! It is unfortunate but she is in total control. I\'m not saying that you should start screwing everyone you meet but you have to find someone (best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody) to occupy the lonelines, a broken is difficult to mend. So chin up! Find someone to deal with and let time do its thing. Stay strong brotha