TOPIC: Women Who Can't Orgasm

So I have a woman I\'m dating (definitely not exclusively) who has never had an orgasm. As a result, she seems to be very resentful and quick to accuse people of \"using her for sex\". She is also very repressed sexually, and basically hates every part of sex other than regular vaginal penetration and kissing. Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and what was the result? Has anyone been able to give a woman like this her first orgasm? I\'m pretty sure if she doesn\'t get off, I\'m going to have to get out, because she is just to anti-sex. I wonder deep down if there are lots of women like her who just fake it because they know it is such a turn off for guys to be with women who don\'t get off.

Thoughts?

Dance With Dragons wrote: So I have a woman I\'m dating (definitely not exclusively) who has never had an orgasm. As a result, she seems to be very resentful and quick to accuse people of \"using her for sex\". She is also very repressed sexually, and basically hates every part of sex other than regular vaginal penetration and kissing. Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and what was the result? Has anyone been able to give a woman like this her first orgasm? I\'m pretty sure if she doesn\'t get off, I\'m going to have to get out, because she is just to anti-sex. I wonder deep down if there are lots of women like her who just fake it because they know it is such a turn off for guys to be with women who don\'t get off. Thoughts?

I\'ve seen various statistics on what percentage of women report never having orgasms (or rarely having orgasms) via sex. Some can\'t orgasm vaginally alone, while others can\'t climax solely by oral pleasure. Some, can\'t seem to orgasm at all, and whether they can eventually ever achieve an orgasm is a case-by-case thing. For example, a women possessing poor self-image or is undergoing a lot of stress may have issues achieving orgasm when they normally otherwise would be able to. Then you have to wonder if any early-life traumas (sex abuse, , etc) can play a psychological role in inhibiting orgasm. And let\'s not forget some women are raised treating anything outside of missionary-position as deviant, and may be sexually-repressed by notions instilled by cultural/societal/religious beliefs.

Since you two aren\'t in a serious relationship, I\'d say let it go altogether, it\'s a complicated issue to resolve if you two aren\'t exclusive. However, if you want to fix this, you may want to have her open up to as to why she hates other aspects of sex outside of the traditional kiss & intercourse. Was it her upbringing? Does she perceive engaging in other positions/foreplay as slutty or \"the kind of things done in porn\" ? By having her open up, you may be able to address the underlying problems and persuade her to try something new for a change. But I wouldn\'t be surprised if you\'d end up beating a dead horse.

from what you write about her, it sounds a lot like psychological problem and perhaps add to it some upbringing issues or even, as SO mentioned, some early molestation.

I did find out that the size of the clitoris is directly proportional to the ease and intensity of the female orgasm. This has been my experience, not a scientific study. I had two ladys who had a very nice and big clits and they both came easily and multiple times. The ones with small clits, were harder to climax.

This is really true and I am not showing off, I had a lady with the smallest of clitoris, it was the size of almost a pin head. She told me she never had an orgasm before but she also had louzy lovers. I thought I\'d give it a try. She would not orgasm with my girthy penis, so I tried some cunnilingus and after a while she actually had an orgasm and she squirted too!!!! go figure.

Buy a hitchi magic wand and include that into foreplay. I guarantee you, it will be impossible for her not to cum!!

Ok, I may have understated the impossibility of this situation. I\'m not an amateur here, sex is sort of my thing. I have tried vibrators, I have a magic wand on hand just for this reason and she liked it but no go. I already decided not to date her anymore because its all just too much for me to deal with right now, but seriously, nothing could get her, not fingers, not toys... Nothing.

Well then you did the right thing....Good for you...

I have plenty of experience with chicks who can\'t cum... and plenty of squirters etc. I know the feeling man. No one here doubts your sexual abilities.. its a real thing. Some girls are friggin tough.

Here\'s my 2 cents.. though this girl might be different. But 99% of the girls I have had who \"can\'t get off with someone\" masturbate on their own with vibrators and can get themselves off easily... they just have some weird mental block preventing them from getting off with someone else. That or the way they masturbate is by grinding the vibrator (like humping the damn thing) which can\'t really ever be replicated with sex. (as hard as I try I can\'t seem to get my Dick to vibrate as much as a hitatchi). If they have never gotten off at all they are likely afraid of it for some reason.

Its frustrating because sex feels like something THEY are doing to please YOU... when in reality it should be an awesome experience for BOTH parties. Its a tricky situation for sure.

Also, some girls may hav sexual hang ups, religious fears, may have been sexually molested, and/or just not in love/lust with the man they are with.

I have had a few girls where I tried my best and they just never came. Sex with them, while most were very beautiful, was luster lacking as one can imagine..

\"she seems to be very resentful and quick to accuse people of \"using her for sex\"___ this girl\'s whole view on sex is distorted (for some reason). if a girl sees sex as something someone is \"doing\" to her, then her whole attitude is wrong. it takes two people to have sex and it should be about mutual enjoyment and pleasure. it sounds like she \"endures\" sex. ahhhh! as other brothers have wisely commented, she possibly has psychological issues that could be very difficult to work through - it all depends on how much the girl means to you. BOME, women can be very fickle creatures, some will come like Niagra Falls, and others are as dry as the desert. some are loose and flexible, while others are as tight as a nun\'s gusset. find one that\'s right for you