Have you thought about telling your story in your own thread? I don\'t know if you did in the old Board, if you did I will try to find it.
Why can\'t you do it with Alter? Since you are searching for somebody else.
How have you lost everything? Can you at least masturbate?
This sounds difficult. Would you mind sharing what has happened? you have come to the right place for support from a great community and there may be others who have experienced similar who can help you through it.