I always had problems talking to women because of how small my Flaccid penis was.............I would always wear long shirts to cover up my smallness.
I was always told that I am a great looking guy with a superb smile, teeth very white & would have hot women hit on me & I would flirt with them but thats as far as I would ever take it. If I was packaged the right way on my eyes, I could have had sex with some of the hottest girls..........
I did have sex with some hot chicks in my 20\'s & 30\'s but was too shy in my teens...........
I had a really good looking girl that I was flirting with for a long time tell me, she didnt care if my penis was 4 or 5 inches, she just wanted to have some fun because she was really into me emotionally but I just couldnt have sex with her thinking she would go & tell her friends.......She even lost like 20 pounds for me & her body looked awesome..............damn the small penis syndrome, grr........
I\'ve dealt with this since college. I know personally that I\'ve slipped away from numerous, too many to count, potential intimacies because of this knowledge. Whether it was rational or not was erroneous - it was real to me. I\'ve known many women that have left their husband/SO due to the size issue ie. \"he was a wonderful man but had a boys penis\". Life is tough and almost everyone has to deal with their shortcomings - be they looks, intellect, or even their penis. I miss my youthful ignorance when I would chase blissfully unaware of what was going on. After my previous girth surgery, I felt completely different - at least while the effect lasted. The girls must have noticed too - not my new size - but definitely my confidence as the response was awesome - again not in the sack but just saying hello and getting to know them. Dancing and all of the intellectual foreplay that goes into seducing the lady of your dreams was no kidding easier. That being said, I too learned the art of satisfying my partner with things other than a huge penis. I just came across a video that lays out the g-spot orgasm technique and the guy uses his hands - the penis never enters the picture and the woman is absolutely radiant after it\'s effects. Now this is something that will absolutely level the playing field for those of us who are less endowed! The first video is cut from the second - short and direct. The second is about 30 minutes long and very informative. Enjoy.
\" When men started acting as the weaker vessel, and let the weakest vessel (women) indirectly judge them with their thoughts, men lost a huge part of what made them strong, we need to stop learning to facilitate weak habits\"
If more men can understand what is said up here and will act upon it to get back to what \"real men\" used to be, Dr C may have very few customers today
@virgin age 29
Thanks for explaining things further. This might be a key to why you haven\'t so far been in a relationship, possibly your life is very much self-centered? It takes reaching out to others and caring first for them, to establish the bridges for a fulfilling rapport. Sex is only the cherry on the pie. Scooping up the icing on the cake is something which can be done, but it seems you want to gain access to the goodies without a genuine exchange. Giving of oneself is key to love and lovemaking, so if this is lacking women will quickly sense it and turn away even if you\'re strapping a wanger the size of King Kong.
You may want to do some soul searching rather than jumping into PE. For it isn\'t by trying to create a power distortion, attracting them with a mighty Dick, that you\'re going to exploit their favors without so much as a twitch. It\'s all about love and without it sex is just friction. Sure it can tingle and squirt but who the heck cares when it\'s all done? You\'re left there alone wondering who else you can bang, to feel you\'re in control of them and your life?
I hope you\'ll take some time to reflect not only on this but on the transfer of other hopes into size increases. Bigger is maybe better in some circumstances, but if you are stuck on a desert island isolated from the world, it doesn\'t take an Aircraft Carrier to take you back to the continent. Mostly it is a matter of knowing where you are, where you deeply strive to be, and then setting course with whatever means you can muster. If size helps, great, but it alone won\'t open up that pathway.
I\'d like to have a relationship one day, but the idea of having a few years of hedonism is very attractive to me. i\'ve always wanted to be lusted after. That\'s why I think I need increased size- it\'s the last piece of the puzzle.
Like i said, \"you learn the lesson of confidence, and women & men will follow you\", writing that much of a counter-point hotboy, you fed today\'s ego. I am indebt to you, so i\'ll return the favor. I am guessing you were a liberal humanities major? [cheap shot]
I\'m a good sport, but I AM as different to you as Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche was to Immanuel Kant, I am a [conviently] honest, selfish, survivalist.
When men started acting as the weaker vessel, and let the weakest vessel (women) indirectly judge them with their thoughts, men lost a huge part of what made them strong, we need to stop learning to facilitate weak habits. Modern society\'s alternative is let your thoughts be your crutch, continue to whine & miss out on so many rich opportunities. When a man starts the path of self-discovery, he\'ll bang 3 dorm chicks and 5 latinas for the month of april, true story. What does cowardice mean to [you]? I say thinking too much about your percieved weakness(es) is an absolute mind fuck and facilitates cowardice behavior, members of this board have bled their personal stories. And i believe this sort of honesty with our PE community is the first step to making some big changes. But a previously stated wearing this disguise is the only alternative, hell whats the point of an avatar or a name like coolhandluke or hotboy or EP, its a disguise. you wear it long enough and you begin to slowly forget who you first were emulating (all those weakness get lost or get mentally tucked away), then this person who you\'ve created, is now the new you.
A disguise is a tool of deception~> arguably a tool of natural selection. The insufficient and weak just don\'t survive. ALTHOUGH I\'M BEGINNING TO THINK I MAYBE WRONG IN THIS RESPECT, WE ARE LIVING IN A \"HAND-OUT\" / \"ENTITLEMENT SOCIETY\". Its alarming how many folks are not paying their taxes or living in the state of California illegally. Entitlements... simply look at what the socialist pig Jerry Brown is doing to the people of California, he\'s using our tax paying dollars to provide a free college education to illegals. While I\'m paying for every dollar and cent for my university education, and these nihilistic sloths of society... they deserve shit and a boarding pass back home.
my old philosophy mentor says it best, please enjoy his clever video on deception:
Now no matter how liberal-hearted you might be hotboy???, lets not pick on THE DUKE, Not to mention the greatest American Hero Audie Murphy. Not many 5 feet 5 INCHES TALL MEN could pull off what Murphy did.
Well, I think I should have been more clear on how I perceived penis size in relationship to my ability to get laid. Like all aspects related to confidence, I think when we improve those aspects, we also (naturally) improve our confidence. When I used to have a beach body, I was many times more confident than I am now (a few pounds later). I can\'t help but to think that going from a 4.0\" x 3.5\" to something better would also improve my confidence... there is definitely a correlation, though I will concede that \"causation,\" is still up for debate.
I would agree that we all can get hung (no pun intended) up on size issues as it relates to our approach to sex and seeking out partners.
I disagree a bit with CHLuke: yes it\'s good to go in (no pun intended) with the intention of enjoyment, mainly for yourself (as even if you pursue the enjoyment of your partner, in the end, in most cases, this is to please and satisfy yourself -- if not to ensure that your partner will continue to return the favor; then to simply gain satisfaction that you have satisfied another -- that is still an internal joy). However, I disagree with the notion you should absolutely not care about others\' thoughts and at the same time take up a disguise that emulates or exudes confidence. One can almost say that the two are nearly contradictory (if you care nothing about why others think, then why disguise anything?).
Also, I disagree that over-cognition is necessarily a bad thing. Thinking -- like language, music, and even technology -- is a broad array of tools, and a mind is what you make of it. While thinking too much in the wrong track can be detrimental & self-destructive; other sorts of thinking, like occasionally stopping to ask yourself \"why?,\" and reasoning out why another individual can\'t use your size as if it were any sort of offense to them (you don\'t owe anyone, man or woman, a grandiose penis, lol, unless you falsely lead them to believe you have one), nor is it something you should apologize for or be ashamed of if you are confident in yourself and your abilities as a whole. Cognition and confidence are far from being mutually exclusive.
In fact, you yourself refer to cognitive faith in your analysis of John Wayne, several others, and their confidence-displaying disguises.
And as for Skeptical One, while I agree with most of what you say, and almost entirely with your first post, I BEG to differ with the latter of the second. You still seem to insist that size (along with other external \'nice-to-haves\') are a necessary condition for getting laid, or at the very least make it highly more probable. I actually differ with you. Women, like men, are constantly trying to balance their wish to have a good time against their own self-confidence issues and hangups. Add that in with the feeling of seeming \"easy\" or \"like a slut\" if they set no \"standards\" in the guys they share themselves with, and you have the situation that many young men find themselves in as a result. In the end, whether you get laid by any one of them is more about them (their emotional state, their current dating situation, a boyfriend they may want to get back at, where their guards are set, etc., etc.) than it is about you.
Finally, you are wrong in that you were rational in allowing the Girth or the length of one of your organs to determine your confidence and willingness to approach and socialize with women. That is one of the fundamental flaws of many men\'s judgment. Simply put, your penis size has nothing to do with you sharing a good time with someone, be it a man or a woman. It is irrational to allow one to preclude one from the other.
Now don\'t get me wrong -- I am not here to bash surgery. In fact I am primarily here to consider the safest & best Phalloplasty option for myself (when that option presents itself). But to assume that size is somehow a determining factor of whether one can have one or several satisfying long or short term sexual relationships, is at best a subtle misperception, and at worst a poorly placed marketing gimmick.
from a 24 year old\'s perspective, if you\'re not interested in starting a long-term relationship, but like having sex with lots of women, this phrase is going to be helpful, \"you are there to satisfy YOUR urges FIRST\", with easy~loose~emotionally confused females you maximize your confidence factor by not giving a damb what they think of you. Think of John Wayne, in one of his movies, he pops out of no where in the hood of night in some western town unannounced, accidently runs into a beautiful saloon girl who recognizes his voice, he then tells her i have some business to mend to, but when i\'m done we\'ll continue where we left off. Confidence takes many disguises, it isn\'t the same disguise for every man, but if you look at the great ones: Gregory peck, Audie Murphy, Humphry bogart, charles bronson, or Perrnel Roberts to name a few, they all had their disguises. I learned my disguise, by getting out there during school breaks or when i wasn\'t working, i traveled, explored, & went to hell and back sometimes. In a puritan world, if you want that confidence gents, you have to care less about what people think of you and care more about what you want from yourself. Alpha-beta-gamma personalities, that stereo-typing is all bullshit, you learn the lesson of confidence, and women & men will follow you.
ps- an over-cognitive mind could mind fuck you. just keep it simple, its when your not doing something with your life that you become too self absorbed in thought. Confidence in balance is a powerful aphrodisiac
Oh, and a continuation to the actual thread question:
Yes. Especially pre-op. As many may already know, I\'m probably the smallest reporting size on this forum (and most PE forums for that matter) that isn\'t classified as micro (in other words, significantly under-average).
The notable (perceived) inadequacy effected my overall confidence, which in effect is the most important characteristic to a woman. Fortunately, my confidence in my intellect, sociability, and modest looks allowed me to compensate enough to manage situations with females and prospects...however my size inevitably kept me from sealing the deal. You can only imagine what it must be like to your friends, family, and peers when you are a so-called \"great guy,\" who seems to be either too picky or too unsure of himself. The concerns others might have that you are gay (or perhaps even small) compound the insecurity even more. Mind you, I don\'t consider being gay a bad or negative thing, I am just stating that it is a problem if someone perceives you to be something that you aren\'t.
I myself happen to be a lover. I have mastered foreplay due to my (original) lack in size. I have learned that there are ways to enjoy sex without ample size. However, I can\'t help but feel that there was more to be desired. And for someone, like myself, who isn\'t satisfied until his partner is satisfied, the lack in size was a glaring issue. It was more than just locker room/swimming pool mockery, it was the need to provide my mate the complete package in bed...
As for the topic at hand, I can say that I\'m slowly coming out of the bubble. I hope to gain an Inch from a combination of manual PE & fat pad reduction. Then I hope to achieve my maximum Girth potential (in other words, the most Girth I can get without making my penis look ridiculous). Couple this with my beach body goals, I can\'t help but thing I\'ll be getting laid in no time.
I can concede that size has effected my confidence, and in turn my ability to converse with women... but in my case I feel that it was (arguably) rational. (err or maybe not who knows lol).
I agree, there is much more to sex than purely the penetrative aspect... and that the penetrative aspect itself can be enhanced by other means outside of sheer size. A thread was posted on a group of 18 women who were polled on ideal girths, and 66% reported the \"average range (according to most standards).\"
Another important point you made are about women who care about size (Size queens, etc). I\'m sure many on this forum have either been hurt by a partner\'s poor choice of words, or have been afraid to pursue sex because of a person\'s potential for a poor choice of words. You really have to ask yourself why you would take this person seriously? These kind of partners are unhealthy in both the short and long term, and it would be wise to find a real, loving, caring woman. I know for some who have been hurt, it\'s hard to believe that those kind of partners are out there. But rest assured, size is not something most healthy & sane women obsess over.
Even with all this being said... many of us are at this site to learn if there is a surgical option for penis enlargement that suits our goals. If women can get boob jobs, why can\'t guys get Cock-jobs? This site\'s greatest dilemma is balancing the need to remain rational about sex and size, while pursuing advances in penile enlargement medicine & technology. Oh what a dilemma!
There is so much to sex besides the penetrative aspect, and even in penetrative sex, one can please a woman in various ways without having a large size. Size is like money -- it doesn\'t solve all problems, and is by no means a cure-all.
Sounds cheesy but it\'s true -- try hooking up with women just for the pleasure of the experience. You will gain relationship experience so that by the time you are at the size you currently hold as a goal, you won\'t be inept at the social part. Also, it is enjoyable to just have a relationship where you can take a girls hand, metaphorically speaking, and roam with her through the realms of imagination (not to get too philosophical here). Unfettered, uncensored communication about your deepest wishes, fears and longings is a very enjoyable and empowering experience, and there\'s nothing wrong with having an emotional relationship with a girl whom you can trust. Many women don\'t really care about the physical aspect of a relationship as much and are capable of enjoying an emotional relationship just as much, just so long as you set the expectations straight from the onset of it.
In addition, you can relax and have fun just exploring each other\'s bodies (her erogenous zones, yours). Sounds like most of the people excluding themselves from relationships due to size issues are misattributing what is actually a psychological block and an unwillingness to just relax and enjoy life. They tend to be more focused on the destination than the journey -- and if you take that paradigm of thinking to an extreme, shouldn\'t we all constantly think about & plan for our deaths vs. living life? Just enjoy the ride, and don\'t let your own hangups rob you and some lucky girl from shared great experiences. If she is shallow enough to have strict size criteria for men, and is dumb enough to let you take her to the last step (as in you\'re about to have sex) without making sure at all whether you meet her size queen standards, then she is the fool and she is the one who has wasted her own time, and it does nothing to harm or reflect poorly upon you as a person.
Just my advice here -- let yourself go, chat women up: relationships aren\'t a job or a degree program, go with the flow and you cant help but share satisfaction.
Yes. It has made me \"relationship centered\" and caused me to avoid casual sex since the earliest days. The reason was that I felt certain I would be shunned and rejected unless I knew they were attached to me on some other level. The advantage was that this led to deeper more fulfilling relationships. The down side was that it kept me absent from the party scene and also made me the stick in the mud of the dating scene. Plus I\'m sure it caused me to miss out on some nice women who might have become attached to me for other reasons after starting out casually.