Hi, I\'m a long-time lurker (I had another account just to look at the pictures) and finally ginned up the confidence to join the discussion and the community. I\'ve been reading, researching, and considering my situation for a long time.

I\'m about 5.6 NBPEL, but a base press makes about no difference due to the fact that I\'m pretty lean, and about 4.5 EG, uniform from top to bottom except the glans of course. Maybe a bit more when highly aroused and haven\'t gotten off in a while. Flaccid is embarrassingly, painfully small: suffice to say I\'m a \"Grower\" and unless I fluff it up before hand I\'m not \"showing\" to anybody, ever. The lack of size has become a definite problem for me. Although I love flirting and hooking up with girls like crazy, my anxiety about my \"little boner\" (as it was described by a close female friend/slut) really gets to me at times. Earlier this spring, for example, I failed to be hard enough at the right time to be able to penetrate with three different girls on three straight weekends, including one I really liked for a few years. That finally spurred me to go ahead and see a doctor, who prescribed me Cialis. Although with the use of the pill I can definitely rise up to the occasion when necessary, I still feel like most girls aren\'t terribly responsive to even my best technique, which has really really sapped my sexual confidence and confidence in general.

After emailing back and forth with Dr. C\'s nurse Wade, and having read and read the site including the super long (and slightly contradictory) complications thread, I feel that I\'ve come to a few conclusions that are shaping my current decision one way or the other. For one, terrible side effects like Necrosis do not seem to be occurring in Dr. C\'s patients. It seems also that the aesthetic problems tend not to be too bad for anyone after their first 10% treatment. Reading the progress reports and other threads, it seems like the aesthetic difficulties really take off after the second treatment. I\'d be willing to forego or wait a really long time for another treatment, and settle for a smaller boost to be on the safer side if need be. I just want to have decent Girth and regain confidence. Next thing is that it seems that most people, with the notable exception of \"Cool Hand Luke,\" seem very pleased with their results. CLH\'s problems, though, do worry me, especially the possibility of migration and the health havoc it would wreak. Another problem is that I\'m not sure about relates to the long-term effects of PMMA implantation.. since it\'s a relatively new field, I can\'t help but wonder if the longer term effects may be bad and not enough time has passed for them to manifest. For all we know, everyone with PMMA will lose their junk to Necrosis 20 years down the line or something. That inclines me to wait a few years and see what people say about their results in the future. On the other hand, I really want to get this done while I\'m young enough to enjoy it instead of sit around and fantasize about how much I\'d enjoy a bigger dong.

I\'m still corresponding heavily with Nurse Wade and I\'m strongly considering the procedure. I\'m definitely going to involve myself in this community for the time being as I weigh the decision.

When I was 18, I was terrified about missing out on life experiences due to my penis issues. By the time I was 22 and still having problems I was even more terrified about life passing me by, but did look back at how naive I was at 18. When I was 25 I couldn\'t believe I was still stuck in the same situation, but by then would have looked back at 22 as being very young. The same happened to me at 30 and will at 35. I should point out I had surgery at 18 and have spent my entire adult like trying to get things corrected.

22 is far too young to be considering this with a penis like yours. With you dimensions it is little more than a vanity project. There is nothing wrong with that in the slightest. But vanity isn\'t a good enough reason to risk a procedure like this, with little known in the way of long term complications. You\'ve got you whole life ahead of you and though it\'s tough, you need to be patient. Wait a few years and follow the progress of others who have had PMMA. Waiting until you are 25 might seem like forever now, but think back to when you were 18 and how recent that seems now. You\'ve managed to get though adult life so far alright, so why not wait a few more years at least.

Thank you so much for the prompt feedback and advice. I agree that a wait would reveal more. But when I think about myself at 18 compared to now, it doesn\'t feel like too recent at all. I lost my virginity at 18, coming from a small town and being in the midst of a huge lifestyle transition from shy/awkward to social/confident/outgoing/smooth. Back then, I felt I was small but I expected that I could overcome it through confidence, technique, and overall attraction. I gradually lost faith in that.

18 feels like a lifetime ago. When I think of all the girls I\'ve brought to bed since then and sent home disappointed who could have been send home chattering to friends about how great I was, all the faces that asked for more that could\'ve been screaming in ecstacy, I really don\'t want to continue like this for years.. but still better a small Dick than no Dick. You are right. It\'s a vanity project, and I\'m not too keen on taking a risk for that. It\'s so bothersome that no matter how much of an attractive lifestyle I can live, no matter how much style I have, no matter much I practice and master conversational and flirting skills, no matter how many hours I spend running weightlifting and swimming, I\'ll still be stuck with this \"little boner.\" When I think of filling a girl up and being able to look good naked instead of having anxiety about both, I feel so optimistic about what could be.

I was 22 when I got PMMA done and am 23 now.

For me it was entirely a vanity project... I had a healthy sex life before hand and never had a complaint. I was 7.25\" NBPEL x 4.5\" EG. So if anything I had enough to be considered \"big\" by most girls, at least visually.

Is my life better because of it? Short answer: yes, Long answer: not really, just different.

Here\'s what I mean:

Unlike you I was an extreme shower (almost as big soft as I was hard), so improving Flaccid wasn\'t a concern for me. It made my Flaccid bigger, yes. But I was an extreme shower before and (as far as I can see from results) asethetically I likely benifited greatly because of it. I didn\'t have to worry about retraction messing with my results, causing lumps and malformities etc.

Sex-wise, yes things improved some. Girls reacted better to the Girth. BUT here\'s one thing to note and I think someone else had noted this either here or on the old forum and that is the positive reactions I got after round 1 haven\'t really changed much if at all to now (round 4). Meaning after round 1 I was sitting at 5.4\" EG and I get very much the same reactions now at 6.25\" EG.

The negatives:

- I am 23 years old! $10,000 (which I have paid so far in Dr\'s fees, airfare, hotels etc) is a sh*t load of money for a kid who is in university. At the end of May I had to move out of my place downtown and move in with my parents as a direct result of getting this procedure. Its a catch 22. I got the procedure for vanity and sexual machoism... anddd I live at my parents now. Try to bring home regular pussy there... when you are $30 cab ride from downtown.

- IF this PMMA stuff messes up on me... even in 5 or 10 years I will only be 27 or 32 respectively. That is young to have this happen! What if I am still single if this happens? Who will want to date a dude with a partially functioning deformed Dick? (Yes I am worried about this). It\'s the \"what if\" factor. And boy have I made a gamble. It is always in the back of my head. I am not kidding I check it, massage it, inspect it, etc, everyday making sure its all as it should be.

- It\'s not perfect. I mean like I said, I feel like I have got pretty lucky to have so much material in there and not have major asthetic issues. But even then, there is a hard ridge on my circ line that a chick could feel if she inspected it, plus a ridge on the underside of my base that is the same sort of thing. I am even worried to go for a STD check up with my doc because I am worried he will look at it, notice the PMMA and then I will have to tell him that I flew to Mexico to put plexy-glass beads in my penis.

If I could go back, would I do it? ... me, yes. BUT someone else more rational than I probably wouldn\'t.

Thats a great answer Sizemic. I am about to have an old dermal graft removed in August. I have not seen my real penis in so long I do not remember what it looks like - all I remember is that I felt something had to be done about it 15 years ago. But I will be the first to admit I have a bad case of body dysmorphia and was always obsessed that I was abnormally small.

I am very interested in having PMMA after the graft is removed but like you BW I am worried about what the long term effects are. My own experience was that things were great, almost amazing, for 10 years at least with the DFG. Then they went south and the graft died. I\'m not exactly sure why or how, but it definitely needs to come out now. I feel like I am about to have a rendezvous with an ex that I dumped 15 years ago and really don\'t want to meet again. (Btw, the larger penis changed my life - sometimes certain problems do have a solution).

I\'m not 22 or close to that (I\'m in my late 40\'s), but at any age who the hell wants emergency surgery on their only penis - having hardened PMMA removed? On the other hand, the long term consequences are unclear so perhaps that does not happen. I took a gamble 15 years ago, so I have done crazy shit before - I know I am capable of doing it again. Fortunately I can\'t do anything for 2 months at least after the graft surgery so I have a chance to feel my way around this issue.

Thanks guys..

Sizemic, I really appreciate the perspective from someone about my age. For me money\'s not really an object. If I could pay, say $20,000 dollars for a perfect and real enlargement and know it was likely to work without complications I would take that offer in a second. Of course that\'s not the problem because there\'s no such thing anyways. It definitely doesn\'t look like anybody in the world is as good as Dr. C.

I share your concerns that everything would be good for 10 years and then I\'d be left with a non-functioning penis or one that had to be amputated or I\'d be retarded from PMMA migration into my brain, then next thing I know the FDA approves some foolproof method of enlargement that gets everyone who uses it to a beautiful 8x6 with hardly any risk of complication. If only our society invested more into research on on PE.. I\'d bet a lot of social and political problems would disappear in no time!

Still thinking about it. Reading negative opinions starting to temper my enthusiasm though.