TOPIC: Fabricldn's PMMA Journey

Hello guys, let me just start off by saying although this is my first post, I\'ve been a member/reader here for a while, I\'ve read the 31 pages of progress reports and most of the information on the forum. While i\'m far from an expert on the subject compared to some members here, who really know and understand even some of the science behind it, I feel like I\'ve done my homework and I have realistic expectations and understand the risks.

I\'d like to thank everybody who has contributed, as I feel that it\'s given me at least some hope when I\'d previously given up dreaming of having a bigger penis, but never being able to accept one I have. Before finding this place I didn\'t know it was possible to change the size of the penis having only heard about fat transfer which I didn\'t and don\'t really think works. ( Although a few guys here seem like they might have had some success. ) The only other forums I had come across were for manual PE which again I dismissed as a gimmick, but again also after reading this forum, am going to try.

I\'d be happy just getting to that 5.12\' NBEL that is apparently the average, which after reading this forum I think should be achievable.

Here\'s my measurements;

I do retract/turtle so my Flaccid length does change constantly.
FL: 3.5\' - 4.0\'
FG: 3.5\' - 4.0\'
NBEL: 4.8\', BPEL - 5.0\'
EG: 4.8\' (Was actually suprised it was this much)

Also just noticed how uniform all of the measures seem to be for the first time, after writing that out.

I\'d like to write at least some of my thoughts about my experience, without going on too much, as I\'ve never expressed these thoughts to anyone. I feel like I\'ve been putting on a front and bottling this all up for at least 10 years now.

When I was about 14 probably like a lot of the guys here, I started to become aware of my penis and started to see others, in the normal way, Gym showers at school etc. I started to noticed that pretty much everyone had a bigger one than I did. I had always been popular and very confident and probably a bit of a Dick at times because of this. When I started to get to get 15/16 and girls became interested in me I found excuses to avoid getting into sexual situations as I didn\'t want to piss one of them off and for them to tell everyone I had a small Dick.

Eventually I did get a blowjob from a slutty girl who gave 2 more out that day! Which I was happy about for a while, but then I heard from friends that she had told them I had the smallest she had seen and that it was the size of a pen lid. Thankfully she showed mercy and didn\'t spread that round, but by that time I had become far less loud and brash.

After leaving school I avoided all situations with the opposite sex, parties etc, lost most of my friends and became very unconfident, which has lead to anxiety and depression. I believe this has resulted in my life not going the way it should have if I had a normal Dick.

At the age of 23 a woman who was 33 became interested in me who I met in my local bar. After a lot of gin I turned up at her house and had sex for the first time. I then was in a relationship with her for 3 years until early this year. I brought my issue up with her once or twice and she always said it wasn\'t the smallest she had seen and that she liked it. By the end the sex was almost non-existent which led me to think I wasn\'t satisfying her, although probably she wasn\'t the most sexually charged person anyway.

Anyway other than a short period in the beginning of the relationship, the depression, anxiety and obsession about this issue has never really gone away.

I am 27 now. My hope is that is that is the procedure is successful I will be able to at least make up for the time I lost in my late teens and early 20\'s before I get to the settling down stage. My greatest hope though, is that I can stop obsessing about this issue every day and I can improve myself in all areas of my life and well-being.

Sorry for the dear-diary, but it\'s a story I\'ve never told and have been struggling with for 10 years. I feel I needed to get it out as hopefully it will be part of the process of moving forward.

I booked the procedure back in September and I\'m flying to San Diego on the 12th Dec, staying in the Grand Hotel until flying home on the 16th Dec.

I\'m not looking to get a huge amount of PMMA, hopefully 10% and if I get a 0.5 Inch increase or close to that, i\'ll be happy.

Thanks guys.

These are some photos I took earlier, I\'m completely untrimmed/shaven as I\'ll be doing that the night before I fly out.

The Flaccid is probably in its slight retraction phases.

The tape measure one is an Erection which is starting to fade, as it does when you\'re trying to take a photo with a tape measure around it!

Congrats on your decision!

Enjoy the journey. The people of TJ are great. Dr C and staff are amazing. The main thing is to listen closely to what Wade says about the aftercare. It\'s easy to do. A new adventure is beginning.

Thanks CPW.

That\'s why it was an easy decision to have the procedure on Tuesday and stay until Friday and stay in TJ, I wanted have as much of their time as possible.

Again thanks CPW for your huge ( no other way of saying it!) contribution to the forum.

haha.... thanks for the feedback.

It\'s good to hear that you understand the importance of the aftercare component of this whole process. It\'s not hard. Just remember to stay on top of it. I didn\'t even stay over night my second or third surgeries. I got in and got out. Dr C and Wade do not recommend doing that tho.

The other thing I\'ve come to realize is that for me massaging and working my penis well after the 3 day post surgery recommendation seems to have a lot of benefit. I\'m 3 months post round 3 and I\'m still extending, pumping, Jelqing, and massaging my penis. I control my Dick\'s destiny no one else does. Me. Me alone.

Good luck my bro in PMMA,
CPW

Thanks for the advice and support man.

Fabric, welcome to the board and thank you for sharing your personal story. I\'m going to bring you in on a little secret. While you might be on the small side of average, you\'re by no means small, and you have very good Girth. I went on a date tonight with a woman who\'s online dating profile stated very clearly that she doesn\'t want a \"long Dick\" but \"he needs to have good Girth.\" The fact that you dated a woman ten years your senior, for 3 years no less, makes it clear that you can hold down some pussy. When a woman is into you, they can handle a lot of your \"flaws\" or shortcomings (they likely don\'t see it as that). I think it\'s great that you are deciding to take control of your perceived issue, especially since it\'s been a key negative component of your life for such a long time. Have you considered dedicating a considerable period of time to stretching or Hanging before getting PMMA? It\'s what I would do if I was in your situation.

@Chester

If I\'m honest with myself, which I\'ve come to be over the years, there probably is some dysmorphia for me in my head. In my opinion I have a small penis. Not a tiny one, which is what I used to think until I really started to look into it as an adult.

I just want to get to the point where I can use it where me and the woman on the other side of think, it\'s just a Dick. Not, it\'s a bit on the small side, was expecting a bit more etc. I have no delusions of wanting a big one. I never have. I just want what I perceive just to be a more average penis.

I will be trying stretching after the procedure, but I live with a few other people so it\'s difficult to imagine Hanging etc. I\'ve committed to having the procedure done now.

Thanks for the reply Chester.

Intill I came here, I truely felt the same as you that I had a small penis. What I discovered was I was average or a bit larger than average, thanks only to this site. It sounds like you have a clear head about this, and have a very reasonable and achievable goal.

I would offer this, once you get the procedure, keep the trimming up. That helps make the package look larger in every state. I turtle pretty good myself and have found that to be true for me.

I wish you all the best.

@lakingsfan35 Thanks for the advice. Usually I do at least get the scissors out but because I knew I was having this done soon, I decided to leave it.

It\'s good to be somewhere where other people understand what you\'re thinking.

I was actually able to shave up last night. As for once there wasnt anybody else in the house. I took a couple afterwards. These will be the last photos until after the procedure.

Really long time for the decision. The best way to make up the mind. All the best ...

Nice belt.

Since you retract, as I do, try to keep the ESL40 that they give you on as long as possible. They say you shouldn\'t sleep with it on though. That is where most of my retraction occurs, and if so with you, keep awake or snooze and massage all night long for the first three nights.
Hopefully, the PMMA will set better during your stretched elongated state and will hang better afterwards. It will still retract though...pig in a blanket. Still, your gonna like the way ya look!

Do you know if they give you the ESL 40 free of charge Astro?

Can I send you a PM CPW?