TOPIC: Candybar's History and New PMMA Progress Report

I know that many of you have paged through my desperate \'one day post\' PMMM topic and I want to thank all of those who have responded and encouraged me through my first 3 rough days. Very very special thanks to huddle10, who has been helping and suuporting not only now but throughout my ordeal with Phalloplasty over the pas past 3 years. I\'m starting this new topic with a more positive, forward looking attitude and I even deleted my last couple of concerned posts in the old topic.

My a Phalloplasty history and background:

This topic was too difficult for me to share for a very long time for many reasons, including the mental implications and my relationship with the treating surgeon but now I feel I can share more so here goes...

3 years ago I approached one of the reputable surgeons re a Girth enahcalement using an Allodern like graft material. My Erect length was at the time probably 5.5\" (it is 6\" today) but my mid shaft Girth was only 4\" and that has figure represented a lot of unpleasant (to say the least...) sexual situations in the past that I can probably write an entire book about... Thus, my goals were relatively modest and those were reach a more or less average Girth. The surgeon told me to expect a 25% increase in Erect Girth, which would have put me at a comfortable 5\", therefor what I wanted.

Next, the surgeon explained his technique that involved wrapping the entire shaft with one layer of relatively thick graft material. In light of the 360 degrees wrap around the shaft, he explained that the surgery would be performed with a penis in the Erect state (to allow expansion) and to achieve this, he would inject, in the OR, \'Caverjet\' a substance that induces Erection chemically (used to treat impotence). I happened to recall from one past instance that Cacerjet did not effect me and explained this to the doctor, suggesting that he first check this in his office before surgery would be performed. The doctor strongly refused, claiming that it effected everyone with no exceptions, and that achieving an Erection in his clinic was, was in his words, \'inappropriate\'. I was a bit naive and proceeded with the surgery but, regretfully, I did anyway.

To make a long story a bit shorter, I ended up with a graft that was fitted to my Flaccid Girth and not to an Erect penis (I knew this right away after surgery based on a photo taken in the OR and after trying Caverjet later at home with no influence on me). It took many months to recover, months in which the surgeon was confident there was no real issue, making it appear as if it was all in my head...

However the graft was very tight, and after a long recovery (losing also length which I later regained stretching) erections were extremely painful and as a consequence, I barely did anything sexual for the following year. In terms size, it initially approached the 5\" (not that it was much use for me) but a year post op it was less than 4.5\" as part of the graft seemed to be absorbed by my body. Eventually, the graft ripped from the pressure in my body, which was both aesthetically displeasing and even more painful.

Thus I retuned to the surgeon, to whom I initially paid around USD 13,000 for the first procedure and even though it was clearly his fault, he charged me another USD 8,000 to remove it. We agreed on a minimally invasive procedure, but last minute when I was already prepped for surgery, he told me he decided to remove the graft by peeling the entire shaft skin, since I complained about pain along the upper shaft. I tired to insist on a minimally invisible procedure we agreed on, but he conditioned surgery on the aggressive method and I had no choice but to go ahead.

The surgery (that also took months to recover from) removed the source of my pain but also caused me to lose almost entirely sensation along the shaft that persists even today, 1.5 years post op. this approach caused the need to resuture the peeked shaft to the glans, essentially re circumcising me, and consequently causing me to lose shaft. As a result a very mild penile scrotal web i had developed with intensive stretching, turned into a verylarge penile scrotal web. This was removed partially in a third operation about 6 months ago. The final outcome after 3 years was that reasonably looking penis with little sensation along the shaft (glans uneffected), making sexual relations a lot less pleasurable and making cumming a challenge every time. You can imagine how all of this left me with a serious mental scar that will probably never quite go away. It is very hard for me to reflect on all of this and write it all even now...

My past experiences notwithstanding, I decided quite a while ago to address my expectation to achieve a \'normal\' Girth via PMMA. I had been through some very painful times and for multiple reasons felt I could not even get myself to read, let alone share my story, on this discussion board. Initially, it was out of fear of tamping my retaliation with my surgeon, but it ran much deeper over time and was part of how I suppressed the entire issue of my penis increasingly as time went by and as my physical problems grew worse. This was one reason I did not inquire enough about PMMA (relates to some of my initial concerns in day 1) but, anyway, I did decide to proceed with PMMA, planning to take a conservative 10% approach. Last minute, this changed to 30% (separate story) and this was performed by Dr C here in Tijuana 4 days ago. You can read about my first 3 days in my previous topic, but they were heavily influenced by my past experiences (as some of you already assumed) and trauma, and I was quite hysteric about meaningless issues that brought back painful past periods. I did experience a lot of physical pain that worried me in days 2-3 but that is gone now (again throwing me back to Phalloplasty in the first two procedures when I experienced very serious pain situations that prevailed for months at t time and I was worried this would be repeated).

Anyway, now I am in day 4, I feel a lot better, the swelling is nearly gone, and I\'m trying to be more optimistic about the future. I\'ve wanted to share my history for s long time but could not get myself to do it and even now it is really hard yet important for me. If I become hysteric again, you know the context but I hope this does not happen too often and hope that I have a lot of good news to report and share moving forward.

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So It\'s early day 5 post op. the swelling I had all disappeared, some bruise marks can still be seen in the scrutum but this is insignificant and. To keep the penis stretched during the day, I\'ve been using of the ESL40 ( www.esl40.com ), which pulls from just below the glans and does not grab the skin behind it. I got this device from Wade. For me, the issue with this device is that my glans is very small and a couple of times it ended up on the actual shaft where I think it \'dented\' the PMMA in one spot. Has anyone been using this device and how important is keeping the penis stretched anyway?

Something else I am not absolutely clear about - at night I wrap the penis in this elastic bandage they provided me with. I try to extend the penis as much as I can before wrapping it,so I sometimes get it erect first and then wrapped. To keep it somewhat stretched during the night, I need to maintain certain tension and pressure bandaging and this can be a little unpleasant when I wake up with an erection. Any advice on how tight this wrapping should be? I don\'t want to damage the PMMA when I do this.

Bottom line how important is stretching during the day and night (Wade mentioned it is useful for a lower hanging penis I Dr C said something about the quality of collagen that will be created) and how do I do this properly.

Thanks and an updated photo

Keeping it from retracting is very important I the early days . As far as night time, I just the less it retracts at anytime in the early days the better ! Wrapping not sure, but also many people on here basically stayed up for extended hours to keep it Erect , but someone else should chime in about wrapping or stretching while sleeping.

Thanks. How long do I need to prevent retraction? I feel like I need to keep this PMMA technically it is very hard for me to identify then this happens as it has lost the majority of its volume at this point so I feel that I am somewhat flying in the dark re the exact levels of PMMA in each location within my penis

I hope someone is still following this thread and can respond. I think I\'ve developed something that looks like a Nodule in one of the PMMA entry point. Here is a photo. Can I do anything about it and is it permanent?

Several members have this. What prevents these is milking ( if you will) the entry sights while they are still leaking . I believe it is PMMA that is in the skin when it healed . One member removed it himself ( don\'t recommend) and I think some have had them removed by a Dr. and most live with it. I believe it is completely a looks thing and really does not warrant any concern.

Thanks. I didn\'t know the entry points needed to be milked I will keep in mind next time. I hope this is something Dr C can help with...

I\'m not sure how this can be happening but I\'m only 10 days post op and I am about an Inch more in Girth. It\'s eiteger swelling from the stretching I was instructed to do (though it does not appear as swelling) or could this be a very early autoimmune response generating collagen so early? Hmm.

Yes. It is common and correctable. Dr. C can do a simple needle biopsy/lancing. Uneventful.

I had an entry point like that last time that stayed pretty Nodule like for a good while, maybe three weeks even. Now its conpletely gone, so you might not end up with somrthing you need addressed.

Thanks a lot. I think that my collagen has been generated more or less. It looks good (with some inconsistencies that I can feel) but I\'m sure it isn\'t anything that can\'t be fixed. However, there seems to be a piece \'missing\' I think at the base of my penis. (look at the part below the suspensroy ligaments in the attached photo and how it is \'concave\' as this is where my \'original penis\' is...).

I think this is due to the fact that I had Phalloplasty before and this eventually caused a re-Circumcision and loss of skin, causing the skin and scrotum to \'move\' forward. The collagen \'spreading\' probably exacerbated this condition.

So in the attached photo you can see how the top part of the penis is covered all the way to the base but a the bottom (anything below the pigs) part of the penis at the base os not. That is the area that is above the current location of my scrotum. Has anyone run into this issue before? Thanks!

Thats a troublesome area. As soon as the scortal skin starts, the PMMA behaves different, and I have a similar effect. You also seem to have very visible tight ligs on top which sort of enhance the look. I don\'t think its anything that can really be helped with more rounds.

Well thank you for responding I hope you see this followup - the ligs are visible because my second Phalloplasty surgery was Removal of the graft but it was done in a horrible way by opening up the Circumcision scar between the glans and the shaft and peeling the entire shaft skin back. As a result I lost some of the Circumcision scar skin, which \'pulled\' everything (including scrotum and penile skin) \'forward\' meaning there is less shaft skin than necessary and the scrotum is way too too much towards the middle of the shaft. All of this also created a scrotal web that I had reduced in a previous operation but the PMMA seems to have returned the scrotal web again to what it was.

When you wrote that the scrotal skin can not be PMMAed I tried to examine the skin at the base of my penis above the scrotal sack and it seems like healthy penis skin (look at the attached photo where I grab it - ignore the stretching device I use..). The skin I am grabbing doesn\'t seem saggy like the testicles below. Am I wrong? Although I didn\'t know it would be such a difference, I did ask him after the procedure and he said something about scrotal skin though it doesn\'t look like scrotal skin..

BTW do you a picture of your penis with the similar issue? would really appreciate if you could send it to me as a reference point. Thanks a lot.

One more question - is there a specific way to stretch the shaft skin so that the ligaments don\'t have to \'protrude\' like they are doing right now? Incidentally, I did lose some length in this procedure (.5\") and I think it is related to the fact that the PMMA/collagen needs more space thus it leaves even less skin for length and on top of everything it has brought back my scrotal web which took surgery to get rid of..