TOPIC: Would you confess in front of her?

Imagine this situation.
You like someone. She likes you a lot. You want her. She wants you.
BUT you\'ve had the greatest of (genuine) insecurities when it comes to physical intimacy because of your size.

Which option would you pick?
1) Confess. Tell her before you think of starting any relationship with her about your inadequacies. And then give it a try together if she still wants it. Problem is even if she turns out to be ok with your situation, you still put it in her mind that you are small/not confident and you know it.

2) Start a relationship with her. Try to be normal and let her say determine what she feels about the size (or lack of it).

3) Stop everything with her. Come up with an excuse why you cant be with her.

4) Work on your mental and physical situation. Hope she is still there if and when you are able to improve and gain more confidence. If she is not, there will be someone else. There is a minimum threshold I have in mind (physically) that I need to be at , before I can even think of working on the psychological aspect.

In essence, should YOU ever bring it up yourself about your deep and very real insecurity and perception of inadequacy? Will that make her respect you even less?

Has anyone ever been in the situation?

Hope to hear from my friends here. Happy 4th.

Beta, thnx bro. I\'ve never felt more convinced. HA! something about your message gave me enough confidence. However here\'s the problem, my surgery has caused some unwanted results (loss of an Inch in length being one of them), besides the little guy not feeling strong enough. Both are slowly getting better , but I am seeing her in 1-2 weeks and at this point , i don\'t care to be honest. I am going to go for it.

Appreciate your opinion.

beta wrote: Your other thread says you are at 5x5. Dude it\'s all in your head. Those are my stats and I\'ve had sex with several women and 4 long term relationships where it was clear that the sex (at that point in time) was the highlight of their sex life. Romance, excitement, and psychology in general is HUGE for women. Unless you have a massive Cock, or a tiny Cock(<4-4.5\"EL or <4EG) they are just going to think of you as average. That\'s the label most guys are getting tagged with whether their 5\" or 6.5\". Don\'t bring it up to her. Think about it this way. A confident guy with a 5\" Dick is more attractive than an insecure guy with a 7\" Dick. You\'re opting to be an insecure guy with a 5\" Dick. Even if that IS who you are, you don\'t need to advertise it. Work on your confidence on your own time. It sounds like you are already getting the girl pretty worked up. When you\'re with her keep up whatever it is you have been doing. She wants you. You know it. She\'s told you. She WANTS to feel your hips pushing against her hips, and your breadth on her neck, and the heat of your body on her body. Give it to her bro! stop Cock blocking yourself. She\'s gonna love it It\'s like the swimming pool, all you can think about is how cold it is when you dip your pinky in, but once you jump you\'ll realize its awesome.

Couldn\'t have said it any better.

Your other thread says you are at 5x5. Dude it\'s all in your head. Those are my stats and I\'ve had sex with several women and 4 long term relationships where it was clear that the sex (at that point in time) was the highlight of their sex life. Romance, excitement, and psychology in general is HUGE for women. Unless you have a massive Cock, or a tiny Cock(<4-4.5\"EL or <4EG) they are just going to think of you as average. That\'s the label most guys are getting tagged with whether their 5\" or 6.5\". Don\'t bring it up to her. Think about it this way. A confident guy with a 5\" Dick is more attractive than an insecure guy with a 7\" Dick. You\'re opting to be an insecure guy with a 5\" Dick. Even if that IS who you are, you don\'t need to advertise it. Work on your confidence on your own time. It sounds like you are already getting the girl pretty worked up. When you\'re with her keep up whatever it is you have been doing. She wants you. You know it. She\'s told you. She WANTS to feel your hips pushing against her hips, and your breadth on her neck, and the heat of your body on her body. Give it to her bro! stop Cock blocking yourself. She\'s gonna love it It\'s like the swimming pool, all you can think about is how cold it is when you dip your pinky in, but once you jump you\'ll realize its awesome.

In case you guys are interested, I got my first BJ from her last week. And a hand job the next day.
It was awkward..at least inside my head.
She is so ready to have sex now, but I haven\'t recovered completely from the surgery. Still hurts a bit, there is swelling and I am a full Inch smaller than I was earlier.
I am working on the routine to gain my lost length back and hopefully gain more. She obviously doesn\'t know any of this.

Anyway...she said the other day the way I kiss her, touch her and \"love\" her is unlike everything she has had before. She feels like woman with me.

While all this is obviously good, it puts so much pressure on me when the real time comes. HA! I can see the negatives in even the good things.

Speed1234

My wife never brought up the issue with me. Probably because she never thought there was an issue and it was all in my head. Even if she thought I was small she must have determined that the good parts (sense of humor, looks, etc) outweighed the size of my Dick. If this was the case she hid it really well. Even post PMMA she won\'t say it makes a difference and that it\'s for me, not her.

I think it\'s really hard to give advice in these situations because it really depends a lot on the girl. If a girl happens to be a size queen then she will be disappointed by 95% of guys out there but us dudes with size issues will see it as confirmation that there is something wrong with us. However, if the girl doesn\'t have much sexual experience than odds are that she has no clue what a \"normal size\" is and Dick size is a total non issue.

As far as asking other women, they will probably just tell you that size is not important and that any women who doesn\'t like you for who you are isn\'t worth it anyway blah blah blah I doubt it will help much but I don\'t suppose it will hurt.

If this girl is one of \"the good ones\" and really likes you than I say go for it. Chances are that you won\'t regret it. If you\'re not sure if she is a good one than I\'m not sure what to tell you. I guess you have to figure out if you like her enough to take the leap.

Good luck bro!!

Oh also, I am definitely not going with #1 with her. I feel like I want to discuss this whole damn size thing with a woman(women) , but its not going to be someone I plan to date.

Hell, I might just start a section here with results of my survey for everyone else.

Hey brother, thanks for sharing your thoughts and your story. I have been tempted to confess in front of this girl so many times. We haven\'t had sex yet. I know she isn\'t desperate and just likes me and being with me and can wait a little, but I also know its a little incomplete without sexual intimacy.

However who am I to speak of sexual experience? I don\'t have much

Lets see where life takes us
Did your wife ever raise it herself at all?

Imperial wrote: Hey buddy - I just responded to your thread from two months ago. Felt like I had to reach out to ya because I know exactly what you\'re going through.

Oh yeah and one thing about #4 is that you may never be ready. The last relationship I blew up was 6 months before I met my wife. I was in phenominal shape at the time and was totally ripped. Yeah I looked good and yeah my Dick was longer but I still couldn\'t muster the courage to pull the trigger. Just food for thought.

speed1234 wrote: Imagine this situation.You like someone. She likes you a lot. You want her. She wants you.BUT you\'ve had the greatest of (genuine) insecurities when it comes to physical intimacy because of your size. Which option would you pick?1) Confess. Tell her before you think of starting any relationship with her about your inadequacies. And then give it a try together if she still wants it. Problem is even if she turns out to be ok with your situation, you still put it in her mind that you are small/not confident and you know it. 2) Start a relationship with her. Try to be normal and let her say determine what she feels about the size (or lack of it). 3) Stop everything with her. Come up with an excuse why you cant be with her. 4) Work on your mental and physical situation. Hope she is still there if and when you are able to improve and gain more confidence. If she is not, there will be someone else. There is a minimum threshold I have in mind (physically) that I need to be at , before I can even think of working on the psychological aspect. In essence, should YOU ever bring it up yourself about your deep and very real insecurity and perception of inadequacy? Will that make her respect you even less? Has anyone ever been in the situation? Hope to hear from my friends here. Happy 4th.

I was in this situation when first started dating my wife, only we had already been having sex and had an instant deep connection we both felt. I was 25 years and old and was soooo insecure about my penis that I had had avoided relationships all my life. Usually I would date for a couple of weeks and when it came time for sex I would break up with them for some lame reason. So when I met my wife I thought I would have to come clean. I figured if I was open and honest we could figure out how to work through this \"little\" problem. I sat her down and explained everything and she was like \"what the eff are you talking about? You\'re fine.\". Of course I didn\'t believe her but at least I knew she accepted me and we have now been married for 7 years. So in the end it worked out. I think I was extremely lucky to find the women I did though. I know that many women would have thought I was a nutter and ran for the hills. Do I regret the conversation? Yes and No. At the time it was very theraputic to get it off my chest as she was the only one I had ever told. It also put me at ease that my size was not going to prevent a relationship. On the other side I think you are right that you plant the seed that you are small/not confident. All women are attracted to confidence and I probably made myself less attractive right at the beginning of a relationship. My advice would be to take road #2. I blew so many great opportunities because of my penis hang up and man do I regret it. You can always talk to her later about it but you can\'t unsay what you\'ve said. Best of luck man!

As I said in one of my earlier posts, the size issue has gotten into my head. Instead of letting it affect other aspects of life however, I have spent a lot more time getting better overall. Really, I am extremely happy with everything else I have right now. Couldn\'t be better tbh.
I have just been afraid , any form of rejection due to my physical inadequacies might spoil everything else too.

Even if some stats say I may not be too far away from average size, I am always thinking about \"what if she doesnt like it\" , \"what if I cant give her enough pleasure\" , \"what if she talks about my small package to her friends\" , \"what if I can\'t get it up when needed\".
It just sucks to not be able to overcome these questions and just accept myself for what I am. And if I can\'t accept my state, how can I expect someone else to do it.

Thanks for listening,

Go with #4, if she\'s not there when you\'ve come out the woodwork, I assure you there are many, many more.

And as a tip, improving all areas of your life will make a significant impact on your overall confidence. Physical fitness, schooling/career, social networking, etc. Sometimes, our size concerns (especially when there isn\'t a real size issue) are not actually size issues, but deeper confidence issues. Building a better you (overall) may diminish the importance of just \"size\" overtime. Hell, improving nutrition and physical fitness will only result in improved Erection quality, and if you have any sort of fat pad, it may even yield some additional length.

Good luck.

Thanks for the reply SO.
I tried #2 , but its too much of a mental block right now for me and I wasnt successful at it.
#4 is what i want to do right now. There is the risk that she may not be there at the end of it all, but it is something I have to accept. If I cant feel good about myself, she cant feel good about me either.
I was leaning towards #1 at times but in the end I am glad to not have done it.

Appreciate your opinion.

I saw your pics and you seem perfectly normal (from a physical point of view). I\'d focus more on foreplay, Erection quality, and stamina and get your mind totally off the size issue. If you learn to use it confidently & effectively, I highly doubt she\'ll even pay any mind to the specifics of size. So in your case, go with #2!

Imo, #1 is not going to reflect well. It\'s like a woman with average boobs opening up to a guy about her insecurities, in my mind, I\'d think she was kookoo. There are those who have real size issues (not you), and those with perceived size issues. #3 is just plain nuts.

I would also recommend #4 if you can\'t get your mind off the size issue immediately. I only recommended #2 first because I\'d hate to see you let something good go because of a problem that doesn\'t exist. But if it\'s still a mental thing, #4 is definitely an option to consider.

As far as bringing up our \"deepest of insecurities,\" I\'d say don\'t bother. That\'s the kind of stuff you can share with a wife or lifelong partner, not merely a girlfriend or fuck buddy. At least in my opinion.

Good luck.

Figured I\'d stop by to thank the guys here for the encouragement and provide some update.
I did reach a stage where I couldn\'t (and really didn\'t want to) avoid sex with her anymore.
So we did it 2 weeks ago and then a few times after that. 3-4 times a week. Sometimes multiple times a night since.

I gotta say for now I am more relieved than anything. Like I said earlier, the Circumcision and overall surgery has taken longer to heal and it is not the most comfortable right now, but she seems to be enjoying it, is really into giving me pleasure too. I gotta say receiving so many BJs makes all the negative feelings go away.

I am Hanging right now and still have half an Inch of original lost length to gain , and hopefully more after that.